Birth Mother expenses????

I am going to be a birth mother for the 2nd time. I have not chosen a family as of yet. I have been reading some of these post about what expenses should be paid to a birth mother. ALL OF THEM. My first child i was young, baby's father passed away. I had a great job, insurance, my own vehicle. I really didn't need my expenses paid, but they were all paid. 5 months of the pregnancy and a month after. Totaled about $12,000. This time i am married. Its 10 years later. My husband and I both have great jobs, a home and can afford to parent. We dont want to. We tried the alternative and couldnt do it. Birthcontrol shot failed not to mention I have PCOS. So this baby was meant to be here. Just not meant for us. Now what do i expect as far as my expenses? Half the bills I pay with my husband and my own. I have A+ insurance so no medical expenses. Being pregnant and having to go through another surgery, 10 weeks out of work, stress, its like a 2nd job. Surrogates get more than $3-6000. Basically thats what they are. Some dont need the money or have the feeling they are selling a child. Thats not at all true. Its a huge life altering experience. Its a chunk out of life that you can never get back and your body never is the same. Im sorry if anyone finds this offensive. Nothing is free in this world.

There's a huge difference between being paid to be a surrogate and paying the bmother's expenses. In the surrogacy arrangement, the child is created for the express purpose of the aparents raising it. In your situation, you're placing your child because you don't want to raise him or her...at least that's what it sounds like. Birthmother expenses allow the adoption agencies to charge obscene amounts of money to the adoptive parents. I would much rather that money be spent on the child's education. Outside of medical expenses for prenatal care and childbirth, I just don't agree with the practice of paying birthmothers, especially when they are gainfully employed, married, and have nice incomes themselves. How in the heck do you think your child is going to feel when he or she is an adult and finds out that your living expenses were paid for?

And just for the record...many, many of us did not receive one red cent in exchange for our babies...and many of us were left to pay the medical bills and maternity-home expenses out of our own pockets or our parents' pockets. You say nothing in life is free. I am glad that my son wasn't bought and paid for...

I even paid for the day my son stayed at the hospital after I left.

Some of these adoptive parents are just cruel and bitter and after what I've been thru this month my choice to give my child for adoption just got shaken now my anxiety about choosing a family is tripled thinking their going to hate me for needing expenses to birth their child... I posted on general adoption thread also cause I could not find this thread but my whole story along with a more detailed post is there under adoption and general adoption thread