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I am a bmom x2,recently reunited with both og my birthkids. I have a son who is 22and a daughter that is 20, soon to be 21.I met them both in the same weekend,and although I was overjoyed to see them, that Sunday I crashed. I had nuclear meltdown of huge proportions. And only with advice from a dear friend, also a bmom, I could have blown the whole thing. All the feelings that we bury for so many years, guilt,frustration,grief,loss ect came flooding back to me. I buried these feelings so long ago because I was told don't ever expect to hear from these children again. We go into self-preservaion mode and lock these feelings awayand try to move on. I wanted my life back, the pain was too much. But I realized that if I did not deal with this mess then my reunions would be history. So I am working on dealing with all this with counseling and talking to you guys. So it would have been very easy for me to back away and not do this and only by the grace of God and good friends am I in this. My reunion with my son is going well, he seems to really want to be in my life. Daughter is another story. After we met, I havent heard a word from her, so Im giving her plenty of room and time and letting her decide the next move, if she wants to make one. Good luck to all of you in reunion, just take it slow and deal with your feelings as they come.
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35 years ago I was a 19 yr old college freshman...long story short, I gave my baby up for adoption thinking our paths were destined to go our separate ways. My doctor and my mother told me I was creating a 'miracle' for someone else, and those thoughts comforted me all these years. I never stopped loving her, or wondering about what her life was like. Every birthday, Xmas, Mother's Day and countless days inbetween, I've uttered prayers, and wishes.
My prayers were answered June 28th...we found each other thru Adoption.com. Our almost daily emails have been wonderful, each one adds more color to the canvass that was blank for so many years. She is flying in at the end of this month...I will finally get to see the wonderful being that birthed those many years ago!
My story may be different from most...I'm also on the other side of the adotion issue. My husband and I have adopted 3 children, so in addition to being a birthmom, I am also an adopted Mom. My children are now 24, 24 and 19, and are thrilled at the prospect of meeting their "older sister". Each of them was told about her existance at "crucial" times in THEIR lives...times when they needed to hear that Mom's aren't perfect, we've made our mistakes in life too, we're human.
I extend my prayers to any and all reading this...may you find comfort in your decision--be it to adopt or to give a child up for adoption. If you are searching, may you find success or at least closure. Each life is precious and here for a reason...and no matter what your role, you are part of the miracle. God Bless.
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