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I hear that some families plan to adopt one child and come home with more than one...and some plan to adopt more than one, and then when the child's overwhelmingly obvious special needs require such attention, they adopt the one.
I guess what I have here are a few questions.
In Russia, when you get a referrel for a child, can you get a second child when you get there? Or do you have to do a 3rd trip back (as the first trip out of 2 more in addition to) for a second child, on top of the 2nd trip back for the first? I am sorry... confusing?
In Ukraine if you go to Ukraine, planning to adopt one, (but you are homestudy approved for 2) and you fall in love with another child (and I am sure it easy to fall in love with more than one, but if you have narrowed it down to one) can you adopt a second child if you did not have their room all ready?? Or do you have to have a room all ready for 2, all the clothes brought to Ukraine for the 2nd child even if you don't get a 2nd child???
We have not decided what typ of adoption we will be doing, still trying to have all questions clearer to see what is the best fit for our family....but here is my dilemna.
If we planned on adopting a little girl, we would put up a wall in our large family roon and make that a bedroom (I am trying to determine if we shold do that ahead of time) If we adopted a boy, we would have the boys in the same large boys bedroom.
I realize in Russia that would be predetermined right? (Unless you are allowed to add another child once you got there)
In Ukraine suppose we planned on adopting a boy. And the bedroom is set up to accomodate the 2 boys..can we adopt a girl also when we get there if the other bedroom is not set up yet? Can I call my mother for example and say "Ma get the crib?" Or does that need to be shown as ready when you get there. Do we need to have another bed, and a crib bought allready? But then if we only adopt the 1 there is an extra bed (and clothes) that need to be returned?
I hear many families say they went for 1 and came back with a sibling group how was that done?
I would appreciate any and all input you have! Thanks-ahead-of-time!
Love & Light, Tee
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...I was anxious to post this before I left the house, hoping to get some answers.
My husband and I have heavily considered Russian or Ukraine as an International choice. Or State of Florida.
Most of my big questions concern International though!
We are not Homestudy ready really, we moved into this house a couple of months ago, we were still doing things around this (not too bad) fixer-upper. It is cute, but sorta still in disarray. But not anything like costruction or anything dangerous. Just putting up shelves, blinds, changing things out. Then we got slammed with hurricanes, one after another, like a string of beads! We had some minor damage. Which is being taken care of on the weekends, when my DH is home.
I need to know, PLEASE! If we get homestudy approved for 2 children, does the room need to be ready (all things in 2 rooms) for 2 children when we arrive in their country. I have so many questions. What if we bought a bed and a crib and the younger one we end up with is not crib age? Everything seems so vague. Do we show pictures of completed rooms to the people in their country? You go their with clothes /stroller for both children (what size what age what sex??? and what if you end up adopting something completely different than you thought.
For example you go to Ukraine for a boy child and maybe a girl baby toddler, do you set up a boys room and a girls with a crib...and you may end up with 2 older boys or 2 girls, or no baby but 3 siblings? When do you really feel you have prepared for the children you are coming home with if the room does not match the child.
Do you keep the room/s generic...buy a crib, buy 2 beds, and then return the one not needed? What have y'all done? I would not want to show them a room with a bed if the child should still be in a crib.
Please help, we feel we would FiNaLlY make a decision about what direction we need to move in, if we understood the best way to go about this.
Thanks-ahead-of-time!
Love & Light, Tee
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Hi,
I don't know if you are getting pm responses, but maybe you could post these questions an the Russian and Ukrainian Adoption threads. I can't help answer your questions, we went to get one child each time we adopted and we came home with with one child each time we adopted. I do remember our agency telling us to put down a 2 on our paperwork just in case we fell in love with an additional available child while we were there.
Good Luck,
Mykidsmom
When I did my homestudy we didn't even have a nursery set up - it was set up as a bedroom (still is - although I haven't traveled yet). If this is your first child, most don't even check for baby proofing types of things - just smoke detectors/fire extinguisher. Some agencies will check for baby proofing though (chemicals not on bottom shelves, cabinets etc.). The pictures I submitted with my homestudy stilled showed the room set up as a guest room.
I have never heard of anyone needing the rooms ready for the homestudy for Russia or for their first trip. I know some people, when they have gone back for their second trip when they are finalizing have brought updated pictures to show the judge in case they were asked. I have never heard that you need to have everything ready before your first trip (for Russia). I'm not planning to do much more until after my first trip.
I don't know how Ukraine works but with Russia most regions are two trips - 1st you meet/accept your referral and the second you go back to finalize in court. You can finalize things/make purchases after your first trip when you meet the children and know how old they are.
hope that helps!
good luck!
...both for responding...no PM's but after I posted in EE support I realized those posting there probably have not yet traveled, and are looking for answers too. I will post in Ukraine and Russian adoption!
KTates when you get to Russia on the first trip, can you be referred for an additional child or is it too late then?Thank you!
Love & Light, Tee