Court Says "No Name Change" to Adoptive Parents

Minor nitpick-- There's no "ph" or "f" sound in Korean, and Phuc sounds much more Vietnamese or Cambodian.

As far as I know, the last name is automatically changed on adoption but the rule is relating to given names. If all else failed, and the name was truely terrible, there is no reason that you couldn't go by a nickname until the child was old enough to change it themselves. I think that the logic of the court is really badly flawed, sure if you live in Sydney or Melbourne people might know how to pronounce the name, but there are an awful lot of Australians who wouldn't have a clue.

It is so funny how there is a debate about the name change..I have so many mixed feelings. I personally think that the child should keep their first given name providing it is understandable and you are able to pronounce it. I am a birth mother and the circumstances where my daughter was given up for adoption was not by my choice. I feel that If a child is brought into this world and given a name, they should carry that name until such time they are able to make the decision to change it if at all. I can see things from both sides of the fence. being in my position my heart tugs me in the direction of the name staying the same. and I do agree that the child does take with them the eye colour, hair colour, and facial features, why not one last gift of a name as well????. the Adopted parents are going to be their parents no matter what and are going to give them the love, guidance and understanding through their life and that in itself is a gift from God as well. Michelle

Hi Sass, It is the child's given names only. In the case of Korea - the two names given to the child by the social worker when the child is relinquished for adoption. The Korean birth mothers do not normally name the child. As I understand it, this family wanted to give the child a more meaningful and easier-to-pronounce Korean name rather than the Korean name chosen by the social worker. This law is unnecessarily rigid. The adoptive family are already demonstrating their commitment to raise him with involvement in his birth culture. We attended the same adoption culture camp this family attended, where the local Sydney Korean community join with adoptive families for a weekend of fun and educational Korean activities. As things now sit in NSW a family can't change their child's given name if the adoption takes place in Australia. Families adopting from China complete the legal proceedings in China, and they can give the child any name they wish. But Korean adoptions are finalised in Australia, and in NSW the child's given names must be retained. Of course the adoptive family could apply to change their child's name legally through deed poll any time after the adoption is finalised. We are currently doing just that for our 16 year old Korean son as he would prefer his middle name to contain all his original Korean name, including the surname. He doesn't want to change his first name, which is an Aussie name. Here in the ACT we encourage people to keep the child's name, particularly if the child is old enough to relate to his or her name, but it is not enforced through legislation. We renamed two of our adopted children and kept the given names of four of our adopted children. I would rather parents think about things like this and that the law shows them respect by trusting them to make decisions in their child's best interests. Julia

Hi Julia, Thanks so much for your insight (and good to hear from you!). I also think it's a matter that should be given a good deal of thought before any change is made. I have friends here who changed their child's name without understanding (1) that they could have retained his original name and (2) what his original name meant. After changing the name they discovered that the original name was beautiful and very meaningful and would bring their child a very real sense of his heritage - so they went *back* to court and did a subsequent name change. All best to you and your crew.. Sass

My name was Elizabeth when I was baptized in Father Baker's before I was adopted. Since my parents are Catholic, they wanted to give me my own name but also keep my baptismal name. So my legal name is Megan Kathleen, but my Catholic name is Megan Kathleen Elizabeth Mary (Mary was added on by me during confirmation). When I was growing up, my parents always called me Megan Kathleen Elizabeth.

In some respects, I think it is up to the child. I have an 11 year old son who was 6 at the time of adoption. My husband is a 3rd, so he wanted to change his name to match my husband's. He had a very strong reaction to his bio brother's name being changed, and he was already in school and the kids knew him by his given name. He was very adamant that he wanted my husband's name, so he took his FULL name as his middle name. When our second son came, again we changed his middle name only. He really liked his first name. When our baby girl came we changed her name right away, as she was only 5 days old, and her birth name was terribly long and hard to pronounce (domestic adoption). The boys were instrumental in picking her name. I think in older children it should be left to the discretion of the child. They may want to change it to feel more a part of the family, as my son did. Others may have an emotional connection to their birth name.

My kids were adoped at ages 10 & 12. We discussed changing names with them both, and my daughter decided to only drop her last name and add ours. My son decided he didn't like his middle name and changed it to the birthfamily last name. He added our last name onto the end. Both my kids had normal first names so it wasn't a real issue for us at all.

Our youngest child was 8 months old when we adopted her from Korea. We decided to keep her Korean name as her middle name, and gave her my grandmother's first name. She is now 28 and likes having her Korean names in there. However, we still don't know how to pronounce them. We've had at least 4 versions given to us by Korean friends. My thought is that original names are important, but this was a name given to her by social services, not her birthmother, from what we understand. Not a major legacy of anything other than her Korean heritage, which is important enough. As the birthmother of a 38-year-old, I was a bit hurt when I discovered her adoptive parents hadn't kept any part of her name. As I get to know more about them, I realize that they don't want to acknowledge in any way that she wasn't born to them, so changing her name was important to them. karen Mother of Cyndi, Will, Jon and Christine

I've had this discussion many times with my kids and some of them have sibs whose names were changed. They feel, and I agree, that their names given to them at birth are part of their identity. To change them, is to take away the one thing that belongs only to them. I also think asking a child about changing their name, especially at a traumatic time in their life or a time of great change, makes little sense. Some kids would feel they had to say yes to refuse angering the parents or being rejected yet again. Also, many kids, including me, want to change their names at different stages in life-I wanted a glamourous name or some actress I saw that was pretty. Even children whose names are changed as infants may feel they lost something when they try to fill in the blanks from their lives. In many cases, it may be the only thing they started life with that they still have. These are of course only the opinions of myself and my children.

I also think there are good reasons not to change a child's birth name. I did add an English name to the birth names of my first two sons, so their original names became middle names. If I had my time again I would probably not do that now. I kept the original names of my next four adopted children. My objection is that this law removes the adoptive parents' choice in the matter. It legislates what the child is to be called. I believe in educating parents in the pros and cons of changing names, not forcing people by law to comply. Julia

I know many adoptees whose names were changed due to the parents wanting to "Americanize/Anglocize" their adopted child. For a child to have a chosen name by their biological parents is very significant because it is a link to the past. Even if it is another individual that names the child from an orphanage, there is going to be a story behind it. I know that adoptive parents are well intentioned but eventually they will have to share the story of their childs adoption along with their name. Understandibly there may be some ethnic names that are difficult to pronounce and may even sound "abnormal" to us and I feel that it is disrespectful to say "oh we cannot pronounce your name" without trying to figure out how to. Many people disregard the importance of ones name. Not all of us have "normal" names. Psychologically, it can take a toll on that individual.....Actor's seem to be choosing unique and different names for their children. Demi Moore's daughter is named "Scout", Gwen Paltrow named her son "Apple" and so on......I agree with Ms. Ashe that the adoptive parents must make an effort to understand the child's name and it's meaning. It is a link to our past. I also feel that Lucy Joy makes a good point in saying that it is part of our identity. I was born in the Philippines and my biological mother did not name me. The director of the orphanage named me Lorial (yes, like the cosmetics) because her sister wanted to have the next girl in the orphanage be named after her. This story is part of who I have become, a link to my life as an orphan. I am very adamant about making sure people pronounce my name as I like it, it is part of my identity.

I believe that the adoptive parents should have a voice. They are the parents who are raising the child. The child will inherit so much from the birthparents, of course, and they should also be allowed to inherit family pride and name lineage from the parents who are raising them. I am both an adoptee and an adoptive mother, and when we adopted our son, the birthmother, who birthed him and then gave him into our arms two hours later, had a name for him to suggest. But we had family names all ready, and we asked herif it was okay that we would be naming him after our family, and she was okay with that. Domestic infant adoptions are of course different than adoptions of overseas older kids. But I still think that the aps should have a voice; the strongest legal voice. They are the parents who ought to name the child. The child will inherit their monetary and spiritual legacy, and be the child of their hearts, if not bodies.

funny how we all feel a certain way.....we all have very strong ideas on what we think is right. I also believe that we cannot change anothers opinions or thoughts and feelings about any one issue. We all I would hope come from a stable and moral place in life, once again knowing that morals differ as well. I am a Birth Mother and I have my opinion as I have stated earlier. It of course breaks my heart knowing that my daughter's name was changed at birth. I think that when the smoke clears It sadly almost seems like a control issue. Birth parents feel they should have the right to give the name to the child on the comfort that they will carry the name through life. Adoptive parents feel that they have the right to name the child so that they will carry the name through life as well. In all honesty It comes down to the fact that we DO NOT 'own' our children... they are only on loan, and entrusted to us by God to raise, keep safe and teach them about all the wonderful things in life, hoping that they become wonderful people. You know, when you hear on the news about a newborn baby abandoned on a sidewalk because a mother or a father could not, or would not take care of that little miracle stops you dead in your tracks and just breaks your heart and brings tears to your eyes.........makes me think we should not really worry about what the child's name is, just love them and thank God that we got lucky enough to have our children in our lives.

I am very grateful for your post. I do thank god every day for our kids. Nicely said. As an adoptee I know it can be odd at times having so many parents . . . My hope is that we can make that a positive thing for our sons. thanks!