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Hoping for a reunion!
17 years ago, while I was only in high school, I became an b-dad. My little girl was given for adoption to a lovely couple in another state. At the time, this decision seemed like the only option available. It was emotionally the most difficult moment of my life.
Since then, I've grown up and had a successful professional career, gotten married, and even adopted a child of my own.
In one year, my birth child will be an adult.
Early in her life, the a-parents sent some pictures at different times in her life.
Eventually, they moved to a different state, and the pictures stopped.
Through the wonders of the internet, I have seen picures of her recently (news clippings...)
I have thought about her every day of my life since she was born.
My question that I would love any feedback on is:
I have no idea what information she has been given regarding her b-mother and me. I would love to send her contact information (next year) and perhaps some information about me and her b-mother.
What approach should I take in contacting her?
I know what school she attends, and approximately where she lives.
I wouldn't want to be disruptive. However, it is difficult to ignore how strongly I feel for her.
Being an adoptive parent also, I understand about the fear her a-parents must have had during the years when she was growing up.
I also understand the feelings of loyalty she must feel for those a-parents.
For those of you that are adoptive children, what approach do you think would work well to communicate the information and feelings that I wish to share with her?
Any ideas would be appreciated.
-Steve
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I am a birth parent.. Birthmom. I relinquished in 1965..
I reunited with my bson late 1999.
What I did was leave a paper trail for my bson to find.. I put my email address on the search sites on the net.. I registered in all the right places.. Check out the search area of adoption.com.
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/f222.html[/url]
The agency that handled the relinquishment will probably have a way for you to register that you are 'open for contact'. Your state may also have a place like this.. ISSR is also a good place for your info..
ISSR.org....Internationsl Soundex Registry
I personally believe that reunion works best when all the parties involved are ready.. Including the aparents.
Good luck to you and yours..
Jackie
With regard to the a-parents; when the pictures stopped coming, me and the b-mom wrote to the a-parents asking what was going on.
The replied that they were worried about the child finding any mail or pictures of us. They moved to another state immediately after. They have remained unlisted, and they never replied or made us aware of their location.
The b-mom and I feel pretty strongly that they were attempting to hide from us.
It is only through google searches that I was able to find out about my b-daughter from her success at various sporting events and school functions.
I have not attempted to contact the a-parents, and I don't even have their actual address.
I have left an ample paper trail for my b-daughter.
Adoption.com etc... If she were simply to do a goggle search with her name, she would find a flood of ways to contact me and her b-mom.
I am just trying to plan on an appropriate method of contacting her in the event that she doesn't find me or her b-mom first.
I do appreciate some of the replies and suggestions. If you or any other readers have any ideas, please feel free to submit.
Thanks!
I just replied to you in another thread.. I checked and saw you are the same person I replied to the other day..
There is a new forum here on adoption.com..
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=988[/url]
love4 and Lynn Barry have started some very interesting conversations about the fears of some adoptive parents..
I bet if you asked your question over there you may get some interesting input..
Do you ride a motorcycle? My hubby likes english bikes..
Jackie
Hi, thanks for the replies.
I am going to check out the link you sent me.
As for the "expertrider" thing, I am a pro bicyclist as a side job. I work as a Fire Captain during the week. I do, however, also like to ride my motorcycle!
Thanks again!
-Steve L
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