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Hoping for a reunion!
17 years ago, while I was only in high school, I became an b-dad. My little girl was given for adoption to a lovely couple in another state. At the time, this decision seemed like the only option available. It was emotionally the most difficult moment of my life.
Since then, I've grown up and had a successful professional career, gotten married, and even adopted a child of my own.
In one year, my birth child will be an adult.
Early in her life, the a-parents sent some pictures at different times in her life.
Eventually, they moved to a different state, and the pictures stopped.
Through the wonders of the internet, I have seen picures of her recently (news clippings...)
I have thought about her every day of my life since she was born.
My question that I would love any feedback on is:
I have no idea what information she has been given regarding her b-mother and me. I would love to send her contact information (next year) and perhaps some information about me and her b-mother.
What approach should I take in contacting her?
I know what school she attends, and approximately where she lives.
I wouldn't want to be disruptive. However, it is difficult to ignore how strongly I feel for her.
Being an adoptive parent also, I understand about the fear her a-parents must have had during the years when she was growing up.
I also understand the feelings of loyalty she must feel for those a-parents.
For those of you that are adoptive children, what approach do you think would work well to communicate the information and feelings that I wish to share with her?
Any ideas would be appreciated.
-Steve
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What approach should I take in contacting her?
What about the agency or the lawyer that handled the adoption?A letter saying "open for contact".
I know of one birthmom who contacted the adoptive parents and it did not go well..
She was rejected and I think it colored her reunion.
It made her angry..
I don't know the answer but I think we need to take it slow.
Jackie
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I appreciate the ideas. Taking it slow seems to be a consensus among many of the forum members.
Your comment about the a-parents becoming upset and creating difficulties is definately a concern for me.
I have 1 year to gather information on how to best proceed.
Hopefully the advice and suggetions gathered here provide all of the answers that I need.
Knowledge is power, and the wisdom of everyone here is so greatly appreciated during this difficult journey which I am undertaking.
Thank you, and if anyone has any good suggestions or comments, please feel free to contribute.
-Steve, the caring b-dad, hoping for reunion.