cost?!

You will read here, of course, that adopting through the state foster system is practically free. I don't think you HAVE to foster to adopt through the state, and/or you can pick a category called "foster to adopt," in which the child is more likely to be involved in a situation where the state is looking to terminate parental rights. Also, you can look for expectant mothers yourself and do an independent domestic adoption, which, from what I hear from many others who had done this successfully, could end up costing less than (or at least, not much more than) 10,000. I think that involves a lot of man-hours on your part, though. I guess the best-case scenario (financially) would be if someone you know knows a preganant person who wants to place and gets you two together, and that woman has no financial needs, and she lives in your town, and she has found a free counseling service, then you could probably adopt and only have to pay a few thousand dollars of attorneys fees (varies) and homestudy cost (usually $1000-$2000, depending on where you live). Remember that the costs of adoption (using adoption agencies) involve the efforts that the agencies make in ADVERTISING in order to find pregnant women with unexpected pregnancies and to find adoptive parents who are looking for matches. Also, there is usually counseling involved for the pregnant woman and her partner. You can have an agency do this (which can actually be a little cheaper, because it spreads out the costs among several couples, theoretically) or you can absorb all of these costs yourself. I think there are some good books available on independent adoption. You should read about ALL of the different means of adoption and decide what will be best for you. You can cut costs by limiting yourself to prebirth moms who have insurance or medicaid and who will have very low (or no) expenses for you to help with. You will still have to pay for attorneys fees. Although it may seem like a lot of people are "making money" off of adoption, the astronomical costs (as it seems the first time you start researching), at least for ethical agencies/attorneys, really involve making sure that the pbmom is not coerced and that she is at peace with her decision, that she keeps herself and the baby healthy throughout the pregnacy, that everything is done legally, and that you are going to be able to provide a safe, loving home for your child. When we were "ready" to adopt, we found out we would have to wait a year to save up enough money to start the process. The process itself can sometimes be long too, so in the meantime, if your job allows, you might be able to take on some extra work that might be put right into savings (I know, this doesn't work for everyone), and you could quit the extra work/job once you brought your child home. The people at this site have some great tips for budgeting/saving money/finding resources from which to borrow money until you get that tax credit (if you will get the tax credit). Also remember that most of the costs are spread out, not one big chunk of money. I wish you luck in your journey toward creating your family. -D.

ok, to do the independent adoption thing, what would i really have to do, just make inquires?

but I believe you would first need to obtain a homestudy to make sure you are ok to adopt. You would need to try to find a social worker or organization in your area that does homestudies. Then, I think you would advertise in different newspapers, send out letters to different organizations like churches (?) and tell everyone you know or meet that you are interested in adopting an infant. Be careful, though... in some states, it is against the law to advertise for adoption. Also, you have to be careful about scammers (people who are not even pregnant who might try to get some money from you). You also might be able to sign up with some sort of web-site that lists adoptive parents who are looking for matches, and they will post your "Dear birthmother"letter. You may want to start with calling some adoption attorneys in your town. Because everyone needs an attorney, they may have ideas and assist you in marketing yourself for an independent adoption. I think "Adopting in America" is supposed to be a good book. Also, I liked "Adopting for Dummies," which I thought was a good start, and I also liked Raising Adopted Children. The first thing I would do is start reading up on adoption. Good luck, D.