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I can't help you unfortunately as I live in the UK:(
But, if you know the area she lives in, have you thought of hiring a Private Investigator? Your bmom said no contact, but he could track down exact address, (once you give him area, name etc) and get some photos for you....discreetly....no-one would ever know;)
Just a thought
Collette
I'm familiar with the area. Maybe I could get photos of the home. email me terilyn_matthews@yahoo.com