Do I have a chance?

Yes, income does matter....more perhaps than it should. It is very expensive to adopt internationally. Agencies and countries vary, but international adoption averages $20,000-$35,000, and that does not include many of the incidental expenses like fingerprint fees, backgroud checks, postage, certification/authentication of documents, Visas, plane tickets, food and lodging in a foriegn country for 3-20 days, medical exams or review of health records by a doctor in this country. There is no one set income limit, but most countries do have some type of general income guidelines. For example China requires there be at least 10,000 of income per year, per H/H member and they prefer more for single parents. Social workers are more concerned with how you handle the money you have, than a specific dollar amount, but you should be prepared to answer the following types of questions. - How long have you had your present position? Is the job secure? What benefits do you receive from your employer? - Are you debt free or do you have difficultly managing your monthly budget? Do you pay all of your bills on time? (My SW did a credit check to ensure I was meeting my current financial obligations.) - Will you be able to provide for the basic needs of a child, such as shelter, food, clothing, medical/dental care? Plan on showing your SW a budget indicating how you will meet the child's needs along with your current obligations...mortgage/rent, car payment, car maintainence, utilities, phone, cable, credit card payments, diapers, clothing, formula, medical insurance, medical co-payments and deductibles, day care expenses, etc. - Do you have health insurance? I an adopted child eligible to be covered under the health insurance? Will you have to wait for an open enrollment period to obtain coverage? Will your child be covered even if he/she is later diagnosed with a pre-existing condition? - Who will care for you child while you are at work? Will you have to pay for this care? How? (This was a huge issue for me as full time day care in this area is $600-$800/mo.) I share your dream of adoption, so it is not my intent to discourage you from adopting. I am also a realist. I don't beleive you can be sucessful without knowing the challenges and facing them head on. Research your options.... There is a little relief as the IRS allows families to claim up to $10,000 in an adoption credit over five years, but the credit can only be applied agaisn't the taxes you would otherwise have paid in those five years. Many agencies and countries reduce their fees substantially if you choose to adopt a child with special needs. Some employers have adoption assistance programs as an employee benefit. If you aren't attached to your current job, maybe you can find an employer who offers these benefits. There are also some organizations who offer grants or low interest loans for the purposes of adoption. Something as important as a child is worth fighting for....

Emily, First let me say I wish you the best of luck in your adventure through adoption. I too am a single person trying to adopt from Guatemala. I am 31 years old and an elementary school teacher. I make approx 37K per year and I am struggling to scrape together the money for initial fees. I can relate to your frustrations regarding the costs. Unfortunately they're there to stay. As taboo as it can be in the adoption community, money is a huge factor for both singles and couples. Whether domestic or international, money plays a big part in your decision making process. There are ways you can help raise money for the cost of your adoption through fundraisers. Family members can be helpful too. You can also look into grants and adoption loans. If you own a home, you may qualify for a home equity loan. Just remember, any loan you take out adds one more payment a month to your budget. Credit cards can be helpful too; there again remember, one more payment compounded with high interest. I am a realist too and believe that "handcuffing" yourself financially leads to a stressful life. I know. I was raised in a family that struggled financially as long as I can remember. This is not to say that money is more important that a parent's love and nurture. It certainly is not! However, creating a financially stable home is important when you're looking into adoption. We are both young people and have time to plan our families. I had to do a lot of soul searching before I decided that adopting at this time was right for me. Before you turn in any adoption applications, ask yourself a few important questions. At 25, am I ready to leave the social life I have grown accustomed to? Can I provide financially for myself and my child without relying on the help of others? Am I finished with my schooling? Does my job offer me an opportunity for promotion and growth? Does my job offer me a retirement plan? How much money can I set aside each month in a savings account for emergencies? If you are adopting an infant, toddler or preschooler, how much is daycare in my area and can I afford it? What is my motivation behind adoption? In 5 years, will I be more financially stable to provide for my child? Am I making a hasty decision that is being driven completely by emotions? If you answer these questions honestly, then you'll be driven in the right direction for yourself at this time. Like you, I have thought about adoption for many years. I believe there are people out there who are put on this earth to love and care for a child that comes from their heart as opposed to their body. I am in no way trying to discourage you from adoption. It sounds to me like you were met to do this. Just educate yourself in all of the areas of adoption before you make a decision. Read as many books as you can, look up webpages, and stay on this forum. Research at least 10 agencies. The more informed you are, the better you can make an informed decision. As far as coworkers and extended family are concerned, they should in no way influence your decision. Be strong and informed. I wish you the best of luck! Carolyn

Thank you lwils89701 and carolyn for your responses- they were very helpful. I have been thinking almost of nothing else for the past few days and I have decided that it would be better for me financially to switch to an adoption here in the US. I have been searching agency websites and it seems like all I can find are infant adoption. However, I am looking from 1-3 years old. Any help on this? I did see that children are available through foster care- is this the only way to get an older child? Any help would be wonderful since I don't know of anyone locally that I can talk to who has gone through this. Emily in San Diego

Emily, From my research, adoptions within the US are not much less expensive than international. Domestic adoptions offer you the opportunity to meet the birthmother, if it's an open adoption. From what I'm gathering, you want to adopt an older toddler. I figure that if a birth mother is going to voluntarily give up her child, it will be before or shortly after the child is born. My guess is that's why you see more infants available. Foster care is a wonderful opportunity. There is no cost (to my knowledge) for you. I'm not sure if you can request a specific age or not. Just keep in mind that foster children have been removed from their home involuntarilly due to abuse or neglect. Even a toddler can pose many challenges to a foster parent. A good friend of mine adopted two of her children through foster care. Both were severly neglected. One was 6 and the other 4 at the time they were removed. The older child, who is now 10, has adjusted nicely, however, there are many challenges with the younger child. Even with the challenges, she wouldn't change anything about her. There are so many children out there who need a loving, caring and understanding home. I hope this is something you'll look into more closely. There are many people on this forum who are very well versed in foster care. I'm sure they would be much more helpful than I can be. Good luck!

I wanted to start with an infant, but I did do a lot of research regarding adopting from the foster care system. Rules vary from state to state, but it is potentially a good option for you. In my state you go through a 6 week training program which explains all of the requirements for becoming a foster/adoptive home, the challenges of adopting an older child, and some of the issues children in foster care face. Usually the home study and other state fees are based on a sliding fee schedule. Special needs children often qualify for subsidies and medical coverage even after adoption, IF IT IS arranged prior to adoption. Some special needs children can have a lot of issues, but others just need a stable home to flourish in. Contact your local state foster care office for more information. Best Wishes.

Hi All, I can help adopting a child from Guatemala for singles without agency. I know all the people there and it can cost no more than 16000 USD which 10000 is refundable in US anyways. Let me know if you are interested cem@insight.ae cem

Hi Emily, Ok... The basics: There are three main types of adoption: international, domestic newborn (voluntary relinquishment), and domestic older-child (involuntary relinquishment). Note: yes, some women voluntarily relinquish their rights to an older child, but not many. So, if you want a 1-3 year old in a domestic adoption, you are realistically looking at adopting a child who's been in foster care, where the child's parents have had their rights involuntarily terminated. The good news is: adopting a waiting child in the U.S. is the least expensive type of adoption. And if you adopt a special-needs child, it's often free.... plus, you may get some state money to help you with raising your child. The bad news is: it's hard to adopt a 1-3 year old without first fostering, in a legal-risk situation. Most children that young end up being adopted by their foster parents. If you choose to go the fost-adopt route, you have to come to terms with the fact that, when the child is placed with you, there is no guarantee that you'll be able to adopt. The primary goal for kids who are taken into foster care is always reunification with their biological family. So, if the bio parents get their act together, the child will be returned to them. It's much easier to adopt a child from the system without legal-risk (meaning the parents' rights have already been terminated) if the child is older (9 or older) or has severe special needs, or is part of a sibling group (actually considered special needs in some states). I feel like I'm being really discouraging, and I don't mean to be. Just trying to be realistic and show you the ins and outs of the situation. I guess I'd start, if I were you, by asking myself if I'd be willing to foster first, and accept legal-risk placements. That is probably your best chance for getting a 1-3 year old child. Much luck to you. Nicole

Hi, Emily. I'm a 30 yr old, single woman making less than $30k/yr. I also first began by considering international, but got too discouraged by the huge money and time (off work and in a foreign country) investments. I did not want to start my family by going deeply into debt. After really thinking about it, I also started to worry about being able to afford daycare. I realized that I really just wanted to be a mom, not necessarily raise an infant. So I started the process of adopting a "special needs" child. Special needs is not only disabilities, but includes all children considered hard to place - boys, older, minority, sibling groups, etc. Though, of course, being removed from your family of birth will most likely result in actual special needs, emotional or otherwise. In CA, I would suggest going here [url]http://www.childsworld.ca.gov/[/url] to get information. I found that just the process of gathering information widened my horizons, and of course the photolistings break my heart. Before choosing an agency to work with though, MAKE SURE YOU RESEARCH. I have been waiting 1.5 yrs so far, and I am kicking myself for not checking things out more thouroughly. Find out if they have worked with single parents before, and what happens if you feel you are not being served satisfactorily. Agencies funded with public funds are in the business of doing what's best for the kids, but also need to provide services for potential parents. Also, private agencies (in my experience) are not necessarily easier or smoother than public agencies - Dept of social svcs, etc. As far as telling people, I wish that I had waited a bit. Not because people were not supportive, but because I have to constantly be keeping relatives and others up to date on things even if I'm not sure what's going on. I think that single people who choose to adopt tend to have the necessary skills, maturity, etc. since everybody knows being a single parent is not an easy life. And generally, I think most of us know who will or will not support us in our decisions. Kind of just a matter of being firm in your convictions and having as much information as possible. Sorry this post is so long, I haven't been on in a while :rolleyes: Good Luck.