need advice

Hi, There are parenting classes that you can attend to help you. If you feel like you're a bad parent these classes will teach you healthy ways to parent your son. If a limited income is part of the problem there are program available to help you with money too! Your child may qualify for WIC, free medical insurance, etc. It's obvious by your post that you love your son and want better for him. You can give him better and not have to place your son for adoption. You just have to be willing to take the steps to ask for help. Best of luck. Michelle

Get in touch with Brenda Romanchik at Open Adoption Insight [url]www.openadoptioninsight.org,[/url] she may have resources and information that may help. Regina

HI! I agree with the other poster- if you are talking about having financial difficulties, then you should look into whatever financial aid you can get. Your choice of whether to parent or do adoption shouldn't be solely based on finances. Do you have any relatives who would be willing to help you out, take custody till you are in a better position? If you are seriously considering adoption, then this website will help you out. There's a birthmother section- you can go in & find others who have been in the same situation, and get advice from them as to what they did, what they wish they would have done, etc. That being said: My daughters birthmom tried parenting for 7 1/2 weeks. She thought at first she financially couldn't parent, didn't know how to parent, etc. She didn't have support, or certain resources. I helped her look into financial aid, parenting classes, suggestions for support, etc. She tried to parent for 7 1/2 weeks, and knew she couldn't do it. She said she wasn't able to emotionally, mentally, physically or financially take care of her child. Now, its a year later, and she calls/writes all the time saying how glad she is that she made that choice- how happy her daughter, is, how happy she is, she's met a great guy, has a great job, etc. But, that's just one story. You'll find in the birthmother section alot of women who wished they would not have done adoption. I'm glad you found this website- I have personally found a wealth of information on here. Best wishes in your journey. Melissa PS Just remember- this isnt' something you have to decide overnight. Hang in there!

Giving birth is hard raising your child after birth is even harder they depend on us for everything. And at times it may seem hard and like your not doing everything you should but I haven't met a parent yet that at one point hasen't felt overwhelmed by the everyday tasks of being a parent. It will pass as quick as it came and in the end you will still have your son. I know you love him more than life itself I can tell by reading your posting. You just need some support there are support groups for single parents find on in your area you will soon see your not alone. Always Palicia

many parents think they are not good enough, that they cant give their child the best, or theyre failing them, so youre not alone in that. You love him and thats the most important thing you can give, if ;he`s healthy and happy thats all he really needs, as most adult children will confirm, try not to judge yourself too badly, and get whatever support you can, being in conflict and torment is the worst, hope you can get peace of mind soon,.

Do what you think is best for YOUR CHILD. I am lucky enough to have 2 perspectives on adoption. I am an adoptive mom of an adorable little boy who I would give my life for and I am also a product of an unplanned pregnancy. I know my mom was definetly not ready for parenthood and to be honest, our relationship struggled for a lot of years until I became a parent myself. Now we're great friends. But I think that happens in many parent-child relationships. Anyway, I am so glad my son's birth mom made a decision she felt was right for her AND her baby. We still keep in contact (I believe it's important for our son to have that). Do what you think is right. If you feel you may physically or emotionally hurt your child, or resent him, get counseling. And then decide what to do from there. But be very careful about this decision. In the end, the only thing that matters is the welfare of your son. Money isn't everything.BTW, I was 28 when I became a mom and had read many books and articles on parenting and gone to parenting classes to prepare myself, but I still feel like I'm not that great of a mom sometimes. Those feelings mostly just come with the territory. No one's perfect and luckily eventually your kids forgive you for your mistakes.