HELP! Meeting Adopted Parents

:confused: I not sure what to do or what to say.... I met my bson a couple of months ago. His adopted mom wanted to meet me I had thought that going out to a public place for a cup of coffee or something would be best. She said no to that but then she wanted to meet on a one on one (just her and me) I was not comfortable with that situation even though I had already agreeded to meet her. I felt there was nothing she had to say that could not be said in front of my husband, or her husband and my bson. She turned that down so I subjected that we wait until after the first of the year when everything settles down from the holidays. Well to my surprise she sent an invitation for my husband and me to come to her home for our grandsons Christmas program. (my bson's son who is 5 begged us to come, so I agreeded) So that is where the problem lies. Now that I've agreeded to come and it is only in two days (this saturday) I am scared to death to go. I don't want to back out because that would hurt both my bson and grandson. I'm sitting here crying just because I'm not sure what to do or to say to this person that raised my son for me. I've already sent a letter thanking her for the wonderful job she did raising him. When I go to her home do I take a gift like a flower, or something. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME. I know this is something that I have to do but it doesn't get any easier just harder and harder. I need advise for all of you birthparents that have already meet the adopted partents and give me advise on what I do next. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!