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I'm an amom, but our son's bmom shared with me over the holidays an experience that I thought I'd pass on. Her (our) son is now 9 months old. So many bmom's here on the forums have said that they've never known to have met another bmom face-to-face, and many do not openly talk about placing their child. So I thought our son's bmom's story might be inspiring to some. Background: Her best friend gave her a puppy days after her son was born. Both bmom and I each thought that was a horrible idea (not talked about then, shared later). A pet is always a risky gift even in the best of circumstances. But her friend knew her, and knew that she'd need a reason to get up every morning ... to take care of herself by caring for someone else. Bmom is also a dog lover to the nth degree. Recently, bmom took her puppy (now also 9 months old) to a dog park, where a woman there with her husband and dog struck up a conversation with bmom about her dog. Bmom, realizing she was risking little with a stranger, decided to try out her new attitude to take pride in her choices. She boldly told this woman the reason that her dog came into her life. Well, it turns out this woman in the dog park was also a bmom. Not only was it cathartic for our son's bmom to put herself out there, she touched another person by providing her an opportunity to open up, and shed the anxieties of judgment.
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Thank you so much for sharing that. I realize that I do put myself out there to get hurt by sharing my story with others. I only do this when the opportunity presents itself of course. I don't just start spouting off to anyone :) . But I know that in part I do it to hopefully find people to connect with or to maybe help someone else that is in my situation.
I think it is so great that the first time your son's bmom really put her self out on the line she was able to be of support to someone else in the same situation.
Vanda
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It never ceases to amaze me when I keep running into adoptees or other birthparents ... just the other day I was at a local bookstore picking up a new adoption self help book and couldn't find it on the shelves so I asked a lady at the counter who literally burst into tears. She is an adoptee and had never realized that birthmothers go through so much and had never thought of finding her birthmother. We literally talked for two hours in the isle of the store. We hugged each other and she confided that she was going to start a search for her birthmother.
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wow... absolutly Beautiful story! I do agree..i wish we could all be more open about it.i do tell people everyonce and a while and share my story..i have yet to find another bmom out there..that i have spoken too This story definatly gives me some inspiration..to maybe put myself out there..and be strong. Thanks for shareing...shes an incredibly brave woman:clap:
I have grown more confident about being a birth mother and a reunited one at that I have found out how others have been touched by adoption. One friend's 6 bio cousins (siblings) were adopted and are in reunion, another is an adoptive mother but I didn't realize initially that her daughter was adopted and I have got talking to a few people who are adoptees. I also have several friends now that are birth mothers.
Pip :flower:
I am an adoptee not a birthmom so I hope it is okay to post here, I just wanted to say that I understand what you are all saying here. I am usually a very closed person when it comes to my personal information and when I started searching for my birthparents back in June I never thought would change. Somewhere along the way I decided to be an open book about my search and reunion. I have posted my entire story in my journal and it all started with my letter to my birthmom. I figure if I can help one person as much as the wonderful people who have helped me it was all worth it. I opened up to a friend at work and found out that I was not the only adoptee, we talk about this often and my first face 2 face with my birthmom was at work at everyone was so excited. I am currently helping someone I work with find their birthparents. I just wanted to share! Thanks for listening and God bless! Aura