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Maybe I've waited too long to start my journey of search and for this I'll always, I think, carry a tinge of regret wherever the journey leads. I was born on 10/1/53, so you can see that I'm really too long in the tooth to start searching for my true roots. I wouldn't/couldn't while my adoptive mother was alive, but now 6 years after she's passed away can I face the indisputable fact the a large sphere of incompleteness surrounds me. I can only hope that divine providence will let me find answers to questions that I've carried and surrounded me all of my existence. Here is the little I know. My birthmother was working as a secretary in a lawyer's office in New Orleans, LA in 1953. She and the lawyer commenced a relationship and I was born, I think prematurely, on 10/1/53 in New Orleans. My adoptive mother was a RN working for an obstertrician. She and my adoptive father had been married for 12 years & had no children. I was taken into their home when I was 5 days old & loved by them as much as any child could be loved. I understand that when I was a toddler that my birthmother and the lawyer had another child, a daughter. My adoptive parents were contacted and asked if they wanted to adopt her and I was later told that I was asked if I wanted a sister and I said that I'd rather have a pony. Because of my adoptive father's age and I guess my disinclination to stop being an only child, she was adopted elsewhere. Few of my sins have bothered me as much as being separted from the only biological link that I might ever touch. I don't want to sound like I'm whining about my life because I have a wonderful wife & children and possess almost all of the material things that a fellow could want. I have a good career, I'm also a lawyer, must be some sort of genetic predisposition. Yet, I have always had an air of emptyness or uncertainty that trails me like a shadow in a bright July sun. AT this stage in my life I'd like to know who I am. The world know who I present to be, but I'd like to know who I am, so until then I'm justThe Searcher.
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That is a touching story, true and well-told.
Are you still in New Orleans or Metairie? I think your search should commence if it has not yet...
Do you have your non-ID from the state?
Also, do not feel guilt against yourself for wanting a pony (I'd have preferred a pony to my own brother). I know the anger now is related to grief, just wanted to offer some support along that line.
Drat but I don't know any birth mothers searching in New Orleans (I do know of a 60 yr old in Biloxi but her son was born in NM). it's never too late :)
Good luck
Maia
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I want wish you luck and I only want to comment on the part of you that hurts about being asked if you wanted to have a sister......... How many children are given the obligation of deciding how many children thier parents will raise???? That my dear is not up to the children in a family to decide and YOU have no sin needing to be forgiven!!!! Goodness---parents should not make it the childs responsibility and I am sure your parents KNEW you didn't want a sibling (what kid ever wants a sibling?) so instead of being strong and saying NO on thier own--they let you be the one to take the fall for a VERY difficult decision.... Please let this be forgiven in your heart.
My grown children took issue with our adoption--saying They thought I should finish the job I started with them--before I replaced them and parented some more kids.... I cut this talk off before it even started by asking what rule applied that moms and dads were only allowed to have two children? It is sort of the same kind of mind game played on you as an innocent child.... Parents decide how many children they want to have---I know I didn't decide to be the oldest of three---I was NOT my choice and it was not yours either......
Good luck on your search--I have seen people find each other at even older ages then you are--there is always hope to connect....