Just found this thread Thought I post

Hi Tyakeia, DH and I adopted DS 2 1/2 years ago at his birth. DH was AD/USN E-6 at the time (now retired) and I work as a middle manager. Ryan was born in Texas, which some people think of as another country I guess :) We're in Southeastern Virginia. Most 'domestic parental placement' situations involve newborns, so I'm a bit confused by your post? Maybe I'm reading it wrong. We spent 2 1/2 months doing our homestudy, 4 months networking before we connected with Ryan's bfamily, then 7 months (an unusually long time) waiting before he was born. Most of the families we've met through our agency become parents in less than a year, though it tends to be longer if they have other children either through birth or adoption. As to cost, the whole thing cost $14,000. Of that about $8000 - $9000 were agency and attorney fees, the rest were all networking, travel, hotel, food, rental car type expenses. Talking to our agency, we were actually a bit on the 'high side' - most are closer to $10K. Of course that varies if you live in an expensive area, where agency fees are higher, etc. Remember though that those high-dollar situations you see posted on agency sites are that way because they are expensive and fewer are willing/able to swing costs that high. We saved for a year before beginning our process, doing things like cutting out trips, having garage sales and telling everyone who came we were raising money to adopt, selling on eBay, and asking friends & family to contribute to our 'baby fund' in lieu of gifts at Christmas and birthdays. A lot of it was 'cash flowed' though - bits and pieces. We were actually a little surprised when we added it up. Our largest single check written was about $2300 for attorney fees at finalization, though they offered to break into installments. Plus, we got $2,000 back from the military and were able to take the full $10K tax credit, meaning the 'net' cost was $2K. Ryan now has a decent start on his college fund. If I were to give one piece of advice on 'affording it' it would be to start living like parents now. Figure a child is going to run you $500 a month in expenses - clothes, diapers, formula, equipment, etc. This is even if one of you is planning on being a SAHP. Take that $500 and put it in a savings account. We're glad we did this b/c it was much easier to make the transition financially. Ryan needed special formula that ran $60 - $70 a week for six months. That would have been a big deal if we weren't already used to living on less. HTH Best of luck. Regina

HI, my husband is also active duty Army. We are on our way to Alaska! He has been in for 12 years and we have adopted twice. Our first was in 1998 and it was a domestic placement. Second adoption was in 2001. Also domestic. We did foster care briefly and once we are situated with our move we are going to become licensed again for foster/adopt, then after a year we are going to sign on with a private agency if nothing has happened for us. We have always chosen agencies that are charging a flat fee. Meaning you know going in what services you are paying for and how much you will be paying. Both of our adoptions were around the $10,000 amount which is much cheaper than international. We were placed very quickly both times and we have a great relationship with our oldest child's birthmom and by her choice 2nd birthmom does not have contact with us. We took a loan for both the adoptions, the first one through a bank then we used our military reimbursement plus tax return to pay it off. 2nd agency we worked with had an in house loan program, we are still paying on that one. If you are active in a church sometimes your church family will help out. Are any relatives of yours in a position to help? Have you looked into foster/adopt? Are you open to any race of child, there is a need for parents for minority children. We get emails from our 2nd agency looking for families to adopt AA newborns, they just don't have enough families. Good luck to you, if you would like you can PM me and ask me anything.