Discuss breastfeeding with BMom in open sit.?

Tracey, I would love to share! I am not doing the full Newman-Goldfarb protocol (do a google search for the full protocol), but just pumping, herbs (Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle), and a little bit of Domperidone (which I will increase once there is a baby in sight!). I've come to love the mother's milk tea, though I think the herbs in capsule form are much stronger. The Dom is a medication that is for stomach-settling (especially in infants). It will come through in the breast milk, but likely only around 2% and since it is approved in other countries for infant use, it is generally regarded as very safe for infants. I have received the best education on this at this board, the women are wonderful, knowledgeable, and very giving: [url]http://fourfriends.com/abrw/[/url] I hope this helps. I'd be happy to share more, if you have any more questions :) Barbie

It is a scary thing to bring up. It's a very personal decision...and I've had somemost people be very positive about it. The only one negative...was my gradnmother. However, I never got to talk to our bmom about it because the adoption of my baby girl was closed. I did wonder what her opinion would be..though!! If you are going to have an open adoption, then it will probably come up at some point....if you are having visits...with her you may even have to nurse in front of her. I would follow your heart. There is nothing wrong with adoptive breastfeeding...it is a wonderful thing...providing the best milk in the world..for your new child and creating that bonding experience with him/her. It is wonderful that you already have a milk supply ....that will help you out so much and make the experience even more enjoyable. You might write her an e-mail about it...and explain why it is good for the baby and important to you....you might add some links to it so she can look it up for herself and find more info on the subject. Hopefully she will be supportive and also consider your invitation to help supply some milk....it may help comfort her knowing that she is contributing to her health and development. I have loved my nursing experience with my little girl...even with all the bumps along the way..and only being able to produce small amount of what she actually needs. It would have been so much nicer to have had more time to prepare..like you did..and actually get a good milk supply before the baby came. I tried for a couple months nursing/pumping..and using fenugreek/blessed thistle and Domperidone. But it wasn't until I was on the Newman Goldfarb accelerated protocal that I actually was able to start producing milk. I also found I couldn't just nurse 6-8 times a day...I had to pump/nurse 12-16 times a day. It felt like my whole day every day was spent....around trying to make milk...and it got very frustrating at times...but it was well worth all the effort...and I have loved every minute of it.

Jessica, it is so nice to meet someone who has done it! :) What a special story you have. I can imagine that with 12-16 feedings a day, your day is spent. But what a worthwhile effort. Your child is truly blessed! Thank you for the helpful advice. You are right that I want to share these wonderful plans with birthmom, and that I will have to wait until the right moment. It is still too early in the relationship... we are still not positive that she will place with us, after all ;) Thanks again, Barbie

Hi Barbie, This is a touchy subject. I don't have any advice on HOW to approach the subject with the potential birthmom except to just be honest with her. As a birthmom I don't necessarily think adoptive breastfeeding is for everyone and if my son's adoptive mom wanted to breastfeed him I would just want to know why, what were her motivations behind wanting to breastfeed him. I think that is also wonderful that you would want bmom to pump and send milk for babe. I know a young birthmom who did this for the first 6 weeks of her bsons life. She feels very proud and honored to have been able to share that gift with her son. Anyways, long story short, be honest with her and with yourself about why you would like to breastfeed babe. Be prepared for ALL reactions not just the one you would like. Good luck.

I think everyone has given good advice so far. I would just like to add that when you broach the subject about her possibly pumping or even feeding in the hospital (nothing can replace the immunity gained with those first few feeds), do it from a very nutral stance. i.e. "I was wondering if you would be interested in breast feeding the baby in the hospital and maybe pumping later." Make it clear that while it has benefits and you'd love for her to do it, that you won't hold it against her if she doesn't (if you won't). And be willing to accept "absolutely not!" as an answer without pushing. Engorgement was bad when I was bottle feeding my first but it was almost unendurable after I placed. I had enough trouble answering questions about "where did the baby go?" I couldn't imagine having to going off to pump, thinking about the baby and knowing that I coudn't really feed her even though I was supplying the milk. First I was an incubator and then a milk cow? Some may not feel that way but when the mommy of my youngest hinted around the idea in the hospital and on a visit a week later (when I was leaking), that's how I felt.

I am hoping to bfeed my adopted baby, but I have no idea how to develop milk. I might get a 4 mos old instead of an infant, is this still a good idea? I figured it would be easier for everyone if it was a newborn. Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.

If you go to [url]www.fourfriends.com/abrw[/url] - there is everything you need to learn! You will be made very welcomed by the ladies there, they are all sweet and very helpful! There is even a section on breastfeeding older adopted children! You can do it! :) Take care, Barbie

It is definately a good thing.....4months is not too old. Your little one would probably take to it very easily and would probably readily accept the breast. If you do have some trouble at first...just have a little patience...and be sureto ask for advice...there are many things you can do. try looking up asklenore.com and fourfriends.com and ABRW.com. they all have somuch information...for your to look up and forums where you can get advice and help. What worked for me was...starting the newman Goldfarb accelerated protocal. It only takes 30 days...to really get started....and during those 30 days it builds up your milk making tissue increasing your milk supply. If you have more time to prepare...your likelyhood of getting a full milk supply is better. Goodluck!!! I love breastfeeding my little girl. Even if you don't want to take any meds or herbs you can still breastfeed using a Medela SNS or a Lact-aid. After using it several weeks you may find you create your own milk supply automatically....but probably not enough to fulfill all your child's needs.

By the way, an update: I emailed birth mom and told her, but I had an inkling she would be okay with it. In fact, she emailed me back her full hearted support, and said that she had been reading up on adoptive breastfeeding, but that she felt uncomfortable approaching me with it (as though she were asking too much of me!). Amazing birthmom we have! Not all birthmoms will be so supportive, but some are! :) Take care, Barbie

Barbie, I have made sure that throughout our online and published profiles, I mention that I am breastfeeding our bio son, who is almost 2. I hope that's a BIG HINT that I am a lactivist who would likely b'feed ANY child in my family. But I think asking the ** how she feels about it is a start. Or listen for how much she knows about child care. Maybe she needs education on nursing benefits. If she's squeamish or seems unreceptive, know that a baby can take a hospital bottle for a few days and still latch on for the long haul. In fact, my 29-weeker didn't b'feed until he was well over 2 mos old (and finally out of the NICU) and we are quite a team! With breastfeeding for ANY MOM, though, know that pushing the topic can be too much, especially with all those hormones running around. It's a delicate topic, but if she seems fair to okay with it, consider it part of your plan but don't push the bonding issue or anything touchy on her. You are an awesome mommy!!!! and GOOD LUCK!!!

Thank you for your help, I will look at those websites. What is the newman Goldfarb accelerated protocal? Sounds like it really worked. Cassandra

You should all listen to Barbie, she knows what she is talking about! She helped me a few weeks ago with a protocal and I am lactating!!!!! :D I had been pumping and got nothing, once I added the Domperidone, voila, it worked. I wonder how I will broach the subject when we finally get matched.

Do you have to make an appt with a doctor to get it? An ob/gyn? I would hate to go through all the explaining to everyone. Good luck with your matches!Cassandra

Do u have to go to your ob/gyn for yasmin and domperidone? or is there somewhere else you can access it? Cassandra

Domperidone, a.k.a. Motilium, is not available in the United States. It is available in Canada, and via the internet at [url]www.globaldrug.tv[/url] I think you can get Yasmin there, too. Domperidone has a sister drug called Reglan. It works like the dom because it raises prolactin levels. However, it causes SEVER moodiness and depression. Please DO NOT let your doctor try to talk you into taking the Reglan. It is not worth the side effects! I took the dom with no side effects at all. If starting the birth control pill, let your dr. know because it is very strong and can cause side effects. Even when following the protocol, you aren't guaranteed a supply. The best thing to do is get a supplementer, I prefer the Lact Aid ([url]www.lactaid.com[/url]) and begin nursing. The dom works great for that and you can also add the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle once you begin producing milk. It's an amazing thing to do for your baby! Good luck, Jill