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Hi all - What a wonderful forum this is!! Wow! I am new to this process: forum and adoption. We were recently approved through LDSFS as potential adoptive parents. That news was wonderful and frustrating all at the same time because now the waiting really begins!! I was wondering if anyone had any advice as to how to move the process along at all. We are thinking about utilizing more than just LDSFS to get our name and information "out there" to as many resources as possible. I look forward to getting to know some of you through this forum. There are not many places out there where you can meet people who truly understand the pain and frustration of not being able to have a family. Take Care,Shannon
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Hi Shannon,
Welcome to the world of waiting! ;)
After our second daughter came along I felt very anxious, very quickly, to start the process again. We received a very clear answer that it was not time. So, while I waited to wait (LOL!) I started piano lessons. Something productive and fulfilling! We also have two small girls that keep us pretty busy but there was still time here and there to let my mind wander and drive me crazy.
Other things you could do to pass the wait time: prepare a nursery, keep a journal, make matching quilts, one for your baby and one for his/her birthmother (this is something that would take me HOURS), take up a new hobby......those are a few I've heard of.
The wait can be hard at times, but it can also be joyful, relaxing and exciting!
Elaine, 29
Wife to my handsome guy
Living in fun Colorado
2 sweet dd, LDSFS
waiting for #3
Hi Elaine, Thanks for the info. I smiled when you commented on the hobbies. I work full time - am taking 3 classes from the local university - teach 14 year old sunday school - sell jewelry - recently started knitting - am learning to crochet - hopefully will be training for a marathon - and scrapbook in my free time. All these things are fun and I really do enjoy them (there are some advantages to being married with no kids). We try to plan trips whenever our schedules allow. So I completely understand your comment about the wait being "joyful, relaxing and exciting!" Take care & Good Luck!!Shannon
Hi Elaine, Thanks for the info. I smiled when you commented on taking up hobbies. My days are certainly full with them: I work full time - I am taking 3 classes from the local university - teach 14 year olds sunday school - sell jewelry - recently started knitting - am learning to crochet - hopefully will be training for a marathon - and scrapbook in my free time. :confused: All these things are fun and I really do enjoy them (there are some advantages to being married with no kids). We try to plan trips whenever our schedules allow. So I completely understand your comment about the wait being "joyful, relaxing and exciting!" Take care & Good Luck!!Shannon:)
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Like others have said, keep yourself busy. Waiting can be really hard. This is one thing in your life that you really don't have much control over. Our first adoption took almost 2 years through LDSFS. So, I have told myself to not expect anything for at least 2 years. This has been my way of dealing with the wait. The baby that is supposed to come to your family will. Finding the patience mean time can be really challenging.
Are you on the internet yet? LDSFS is having a lot of bmoms picking from their website. Another place to post your profile is on hopetoadopt. I have heard good things about them. I have also thought about placing my profile here on parent profiles but have not yet decided. Just some ideas... Any others???
i live in arizona also and we have been approved through LDSFS since Oct. 2003. last october we were ready to pick up a sweet baby boy in CA and the day before we were ready to leave she decided to keep him. That was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. but 2 weeks later we got another call that a birthmother was due in January. My husband was so exited but i was so scared of another heartbreak. well in december she contacted us again and wanted us to have this baby. So we started meeting with her and we met her other 6 children and went to the ultrasound with her. Its aboy . we found out she was really due march 4th and now here it is march 9 and she hasnt had him. her dr. scheduled her for a c-section for this sat. we are so exited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Anyways for your question to see what can hurry up the process. just tell everyone your situation. we found these women through a lady in my aunts ward who werent LDS and contacted LDS services with us. We spoke in a ward confrence about LDS services and the birthparents struggles.It has been a rollercoaster but my advice is pray and have your husband give you comfort blessings. Good Luck!! Lyndsie
Take care with your pre adoption activities..... Pregancy naturally slows an expectant mother down WISELY....in prep for what is coming. I guess I didn't expect motherhood to consume me. You get appx 1/16th of the things done in a day that you are used to and if you are productive oriented this can be a shock to your system. I was waiting for an infant boy that fell thru one month before I became the parent of a 4 yr old girl. Be prepared for post adoptive depression. Read all you can on it. I never expected one moment of frustration in being a mom. I never expected to forget why I wanted all this in the first place. Write all your reasons down and review them frequently. I got so lost within myself that I had a friend remind me what she saw was good points in me....that helped a lot. More than anything I expected the fary tale that was in my head. I should have spent more time with other stay at home moms "training" By the way, I'm the oldest child and I felt completely confidant in raising a family as I had helped my parents raise theirs. Ldsfs here hasn't been real up front about preparing aparents for openess. They kind of act like that can be decided later, but most bparents expect openness. Educate yourself on bparents sides of things...this forum is excellent as a resource for that too.
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