Considering my options

Your post caught my attention since I just love your name! I don't really have any advice for you. I just wanted to tell you to take as much time as you need while making your decision. You do not have to decide anything today, next week, or next month. You have to do what is best for you and your baby. And only you know what that is. I wish you the best! (and I hope that someone with better advice comes along....... :) ) Casey

As a couple hoping to adopt, we wish you well!! Please think about your decision carefully and consider you and the baby growing inside of you. We wish you well and we will pray for you!

Skylar, I am so glad that you are taking the time to consider your options. As an adoptive mom of 3 yr old twins, I want to tell you how grateful I am for the decision my kids birth mom made to place with us. I have such love and admiration for her. I think of her every day and will always love her! Bless you for considering adoption! I hope you find the support you need and are looking for. I live in west TN and am available to talk if you want to hear an adoptive moms perspective. FabFamilyof4Laura

Skylar, I can only imagine how overwhelmed you must feel at this very moment but please know it's just a season in your life. Find some people who love you and surround yourself with them you will need nurturing right now. The gift you carry is precious thank you for choosing life on behalf of myself and all the other hopeful adoptive parents out there. Make sure you take care of yourself and your baby and take one day at a time I pray you will truly search your heart for the answer that is right for you and then you will have peace with yourself when you make your decision. Love and Prayers

Hi Skylar, You got some great advice here! WAIT and SLOWLY think through your decision. You have PLENTY of time!! I am a foster mom and know of situations where the birthmom STILL doesn't know what to do even AFTER the baby is born so the baby is placed in a temporary, short-term, loving home until her head clears and she is SURE of her decision!! So don't let anyone pressure you into ANY decision...you have plenty of time!! :) Email me if you want to talk!! God Bless, you will be in my prayers! Michelle

The most helpful advice I can give to anyone experiencing an unexpected pregnancy is to research all of your options, excluding abortion since you have all ready said you don't want to do that.There are programs to help you parent. There are programs to help you place your child for adoption. There are people to support you either way. Start researching now and weigh the pros and cons.And make your true decision after birth. Even the "best" plan can be thwarted by the love you feel for a child.And don't let yourself be forced or swayed by others wants or desires for your child. You are the parent. You make the decisions.Best of luck.And a note to all: STOP SOLICITING THIS GIRL.

That truly wasn't my intention, Jenna. Sorry if either your or Skylar got that impression from my post. The last thing I want to do is abuse this board...... Casey

A STRONG REMINDER Community Websites are NOT places for adoptive parents or adoption professionals to solicit birthparents. So many people visit the Community Websites that birthmothers get "pounced on" from dozens of different people if this rule is not strictly observed. Adoption Media is committed to making the Community Websites places where birthparents feel safe. It is not appropriate for adoption professionals or hopeful parents to post "I can help" messages, or Internet addresses for birthmothers to visit, or to send this type of e-mail to birthmothers. Conversely, it is not appropriate for birthparents to use the Community Websites to solicit adoptive parents. Are you pregnant and considering adoption? For your safety, we strongly recommend that you do not select adoptive parents or an adoption professional from the Community Websites. We have no way of know which parents on the message boards or other community services are qualified to adopt, and which professionals are reputable. Visit [url]www.ParentProfiles.com[/url] to find information on hundreds of hopeful adoptive parents who have each met the pre-adoption requirements in their state. Visit [url]www.AdoptionDirectory.com[/url] to find an adoption attorney, agency or other adoption professional.

Skylar,I agree with Betsy, Michelle and Jenna. Take your time, surround yourself with loving and supportive people and follow your heart. Take time to yourself to just sit quietly and listen, it will tell you what you need to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep posting here for support if you do not have any at home. There are many wonderful informative people here that will be able to answer just about any question you may have. Take extra good care of yourself and that child. God bless,Robin(((((((HUGS))))))))

I know many people that never got over the fact that they choose abortion. You can't change this once it is done. I know many people that are so thankful for adoption. You don't have to make a decision about adoption until you are ready. If you choose to keep your baby, there are alot of resources available to help you. I am not soliciting you, I already have enough children. Please follow your own heart!!!!!!!

While there are obviously many others who would be more than happy to give your baby a good loving home, I am a stong advocate for doing it yourself. You can make a strong loving home ofr your child. As far as the best?? Maybe you don't have all the timmings right now, but a baby is not going to care about that. Your baby will care about hearing your voice, smelling your small, feeling your arms..you have plenty of time to get it all together and make it the way you want it. And really, there is nothing wrong with having our children see us working hard for all the things that we want out of life..that's what life is. It's a better example. The father might not want anything to do with the baby, but he is still responsible and will owe child support. Please do not allow his inabilty to be resposible to color your decision. No matter what...the best thing you can do rright now is just gather information. Read as much as you can..both the good and the bad..imagine feeling as the natural moms, both old and new, in good situations and bad, feel. Imagine hearing your child speak the like the adoptees here..again..both good and bad. You will have no real control over what your child ends up feeling, nor will you, really have any control over how it all ends up over time. You will have little control over how you feel either despite all the best laid out plans and good intentions. Read and read some more anywhere you can on the web. Keep your options open and don't feel obligated to anyone or anything but your child and yourself. And know..that you can do whatever you set your mind to. There is help out there to keep your baby as much as there are places and people ready to keep your baby for you. Some will be easy to find and some hard..some will grace you with much joy and hard work..the other with just as much hard work and guarenteed tears. Either way...you will be a mother and your life has changed. Congratualtions.

Skylar, I am writing because i have been on both sides of the fence. When i was 20, i had an unexpected pregnancy. My boyfriend wanted an abortion. I was in college, no money, no financial support from family so i decided to have the abortion. I have regretted in ever since. I am now 34 and my husband (then boyfriend) and I are trying to start a family. I can;t help but wonder if my unexplained multiple miscarriages are a result of the abortion, even though my doctor says no. I should have thought about my options long and hard. We are now seeking adoption but it has been hard for me to get over what i did 14 years ago. My advice: Listen to your heart, don't let anyone else persade you, and take your time. It is your decision to make and one that you have to live with. My heart goes out to you and you will be in my prayers. Angela

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Skylar. Please take your time to decide what is right for you and your child. I have been in all three situations. At sixteen I gave a child up for adoption, at eighteen I had an abortion, and at thirty-three after seven years of infertility, secondary to an IUD gone bad, we were blessed to adopt a infant through open adoption. I felt that my infertility was God's punishment for the two children that I felt I had turned my back on. It is a very personal decision and one you will have to live with the rest of your life. I will pray for you and if you ever need a shoulder feel free to e-mail me. By the way, my blessing will be 21 this year, and the joy and light in my life.God Bless, Sherry