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We plan to adopt from Ukraine hopefully sometime around Fall 2006. Our bio kids will then be ages 8 and 4 (almost 5). I am a stay-at-home mom, and am concerned about leaving my kids for 3 + weeks. We have lots of close relatives to help. My husband would probably have to come home after the court hearing for work, so at least the kids would have him home. Has anyone left kids around these ages to go to Ukraine? How did you and the kids handle it? I can't imagine what it would be like to be separated for that long, but I don't think we could take them with us. I really feel like we are supposed to adopt from Ukraine, but of course I have all these concerns like, "Is this going to be the best thing for my kids? Am I being selfish by wanting to adopt another?" etc. I'd appreciate advice/opinions from any of you who've been there. Thanks so much!! -Lori Ann
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I too, think about the same thing (a bio daughter who is 2 1/2 now). We are just atarting the process - I don't know if we would look into anything much longer than 2 week stay. We are just deciding on our country right now... I have read so much fr so many countries, I cannot remember avg stay in Ukraine - is it 3 weeks? Fore example, I've read that for Kazakhstan, it is 2 trips - 1 is 2wks, and 2nd is 1 week. More $, but better suited for us, I think, in other ways. Did you look into other countries before deciding on Ukraine? Any comments would be appreciated? KAren
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Hi Karen,We have looked at every country possible! Actually, I'm not 100% sure we will go with Ukraine. Our other option is China. Kaz or Russia would be great, but we are strugging to even come up with the money for Ukraine. The trip for Ukraine is unpredictable. They say the average is about 3 weeks, so we really have to come to terms with that before we proceed. I wish you luck on your journey! You will love having 2 kids! They are truly a blessing. Lori Ann
LOVEMYFAMILY:
We are going to Ukraine next month. We have a 5 yr. old bio child. At first, it wasn't even a question to take our bio. We were sure we'd leave her with family. As we planned our trip & prepared for her to stay here; I became very uneasy with it. It wasn't fun looking forward to going to Ukraine without her. It caused us alot of heartache & anxiety. Finally, one day, that was it, we decided to take her along!! I was SO happy about our decision. It was like a huge load off my mind & heart. It will have it's challenges, too, I'm sure. But we are willing to take any chance as long as we can be together in Ukraine!!
junebug00 ;)
Lori Ann,
I have adopted 3 times from Ukraine and left children at home each time.
In 2001, my bio daughter was 17yo and a high school Senior. She couldn't miss school and was almost an adult. It was still difficult to be gone for 19 days.
In 2002, not only did I leave at home my older daughter, but the 2 children I adopted in 2001. They were 8yo and 6.6yo and had never been separated from me since their adoption. I was tense, but made sure to leave them with people I trusted, their godparents, and knew they would be ok. It was still a long 21 days!
In 2003, my 3 younger children, 9yo, 7.6yo, and 7.4yo again stayed with their godparents. It was hard, but I knew it was better for them than coming with me to Ukraine. My trip was 23 days.
It used to be the average trip was 3 weeks with people planning for 2-4 weeks in-country. This is no longer reality. The average trip is closer to 4-5 weeks and you need to plan for 4-6 weeks in-country. 3 weeks would be a very short trip where you accepted your first referral and had the 30 days waiting period waived. The younger and healthier of a child you are looking for, the longer of a trip you should be prepared for.
Plan on 6 weeks, then if you are home in 3 weeks it is a pleasant surprise. Otherwise, you could end up in a position of not having enough time to complete your adoption and coming home empty-handed.
Best wishes,