Advertisements
I have always wanted to both adopt and have bio kids too (if blessed with that ability!), and my partner and i are agreed that ideally, we would like 2 children, one a, one b. i feel that adopting first may give the adopted child more confidence about their place in the family, and that he/she could be involved when their brother/sister came along. My partner feels that anyone planning on adopting and having bio children would have the bio child/children first. have any of you adopted first and gone on to have bio children?what are your thoughts on this?
Like
Share
I agree w/ your spouse. Having an older bio child engages them to be part of the adoption process. We brought in 2 newphews older then our bio daughter. We had one for years and one for 8 and they always resented her status as our daughter. One of them actually hurt her. We are now adoptive parents and our daughter was very active in the adoption process, I don't think we'll have sibling rivalry the way we did with our nephews.
Advertisements
I'm planning to have both. I'm thinking more like four though, so that leaves more options. I am thinking I'll have a biological child first, both for financial reason and psychological ones. For the most part what I've heard is that it's harder for kids to have biological siblings after adopted ones. Also I think having a biological child first would give me plenty of time to prepare for the costs of adoption as well as have the added parenting experience to ease the transistion of travel, suddenly having a several month old child (I'm planning to adopt internationally), and integrating the older child into the process.
We adopted first.We were placed with a sibling group of 3 about 18 months ago, and we are pregnant now. The kids will find out before we tell extended family next week, but if we told them before, no one would find out when we want them to. Our oldest two say they want other kids in the family, but part of that is just because they are kids and they think other kids are fun period.It will be toughest for our oldest son, but we will deal with it, and all our children will be very involved with the baby, as any birth siblings would be.We plan to have more children bilogically down the road, and adopt too if the right situation presents itself.