Alternative techniques

Thanks Red! Stephen's preschool is going great. We have days from time to time where he can't keep his hands to himself and may not get a stamp in music and movement because he didn't follow directions, but those are few and far between and usually happen when I am out of town. It's weird - he tends to get out of sorts when mom is gone and I am not gone very often! He sits for circle time and snack time and does art projects. Our preschool has a fall and spring parent-teacher conference and the one we just did has a full developmental analysis. In each category, they check whether the skill has been introduced, developing, or frequent. He got mostly frequents and some developings. Under the category "communication", he had all "frequents" and one of the comments was that he has a very extensive vocabulary for his age and talks in complete, complex sentences. Under the "social" category, the teacher said he is a very social little boy and loves playing with his friends. She also said he often sets his own agenda in the classroom. Imagine that. The other categories were "gross motor skills" (one comment was "To say Stephen can run is an understatement!"), "fine motor skills" (one comment was that he can build a tower of 13 one-inch blocks!) and "visual assimilation" (one comment was that he liked making faces at himself in the mirror when he washed his hands!) The only thing the teacher was working with him on was keeping his hands to himself - he sometimes grabs toys and acts impulsively. SO I guess he is your typical three year old! The problem we are having with him at home is listening. We have to tell him to do things over and over. The 1-2-3 Magic book categorizes discipline issues into two categories: things you want them to stop doing and things you want them to do. You take a different approach with both. For example, you count the things you want them to stop doing saying "that's one...., that's two....," and when you get to 3 you institute a punishment like time out or taking away a toy or privilege. The things you want them to do, you can use a timer and say, when this goes off, you need to start picking up your toys, etc. There is a lot more to it, but I haven't read that far. So far, the counting works for Stephen and I rarely get to 2. He was going through a back talk phase and I started counting every time he said something ugly and that behavior has greatly decreased! I don't know the name of the author but you can get it at any bookstore. Thanks for your advice!

Hi Mitzi, It sounds like Stephen is doing awesome at school! I am glad that he loves going and is doing so well. "Setting his own agenda" in class - that totally cracks me up! And, I do believe it. It is really important that the teacher lets him do that, when it is an option. His listening will obviously improve with your efforts (and age); he probably just has more important things to do. :p I can imagine that your leaving is still stressful for him, so when you leave, he feels a bit discombobulated! Probably if you were gone often he would have found it easier by now, but being occasional, he probably is not ready to "adjust." I am still really unsure about Sai starting school; though it is clear that she is so ready. I have taught her everything that I know. :D The Director told us that her diction (when using French) was impeccable. She knows the basics in French but is still working on Spanish, because dh is the Spanish speaker and works a lot. She is beginning to read and is completely OBSESSED with letters and words and asks me how to spell everything and what words are on products, food labels and billboards if she does not know them. Listening is never her problem; it is mine, as she is pressing me every minute of everyday for more information about various subjects. Maybe I need 1-2-3 Magic. :rolleyes: Sometimes I have to ask her to repeat the question. :eek: We do not really use (or need) any form of discipline now. Our issues are getting her to understand that flexibility is important, that things are not always concrete and that even a schedule has to change sometimes. She will sit at the computer for three hours and play games if I let her (I do not). I take her to the park everyday to encourage her in gross motor skills. She is catching up and loves the bars but still would rather collect rocks and look for bugs. She is just really cautious, not socially but physically. Holding her worked for us I think because she just was not in the same place emotionally as she was intellectually. Now, when we explain in adult terms, she understands and usually asks more questions like why the teacher was late, "did he oversleep?" Anyone else out there want to share?