Advertisements
Advertisements
I'm six months pregnant and am now looking into adoption, but I honestly have no clue where to start looking or what to do. When looking for an adoption agancy what should I be looking for. My family (who I live with since I'm a poor student) are also completely cutting me off, so I no longer have any health insurence, I'm currently jobless and about to be homeless as well so I preferably want one that offers housing... which I don't fully understand how that works. I'm just lost I guess, totally overwhelmed and any advice would be loved and greatly needed.
Like
Share
View All Previous Posts
Jennifer
Do alot of research like others have said regarding your state laws and most of all.... if you go with an agency MAKE SURE things are done the way YOU want them. You have choices and these are your choices to make and no one else's.
As for state laws..... most states do allow the aparents to assist you with living expenses. If you deal wiyth an agency make sure you are not pressured into placing in exhange for being relocated, some agencies do that from what I have heard. I know my state, PA, allows medical and legal expenses, but if the aparents are allowed to finalize in your state that it can go according to your state laws. What state are you? There has got to be resources available to you.
Do you have friends that could help you out temporarily? I don't get how your family is able to cut you off from the insurance, are you still on their medical policy?
Please keep us posted, this is a great forum for support and advice.
One other thing...... not everyone who will say "can I help you" has ulterior motives, there are many people who will help out of the PURE goodness of their hearts.
One other thing...... not everyone who will say "can I help you" has ulterior motives, there are many people who will help out of the PURE goodness of their hearts.
I agree with you on this. I relaize there are some people out there who just want to help themselves,;however, not all people are. Sometimes you have to be guarded but step out and take a chance. Some people really do want to help!
Like
Share
Advertisements
[QUOTE=
One other thing...... not everyone who will say "can I help you" has ulterior motives, there are many people who will help out of the PURE goodness of their hearts.[/QUOTE]
I agree with this...I am sure some people are out to help only themselves;however, there are people out here who really do want to help. Just be sure you take your time and consider all options. Good luck and you are in my prayers...
Like
Share
Just a quick reminder that "I can help you" messages from adoptive parents and hopeful adoptive parents to women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy situation on this forum, is not allowed.
Like
Share
I hope all birthmoms that view this site do not take these kinds of comments to heart!!! I would be willng to help a young bmom! Either by counseling, listening or helping her to find resources. I am a special education teacher and a physchological nurse who has worked with teens who have emotional/behavioral problems for several years. I think most people who offer their assistance are honest and sincere. Even those who are adopting are usually very caring people. I would advise any bmom to listen to hopeful adoptive parents before they go to an agency! My experience in dealing with teens who have unplanned pregnancy....the agency makes them feel that they will "offer them the moon". Then when all is said and done and baby is placed with aparents the agency is finished with the bmom. It is about MONEY! Brandy, I know your the moderator and I dont mean to be rude, but most of these bmoms are here for help and support!!!! I havent seen solicitation on this thread. That is what is not allowed.
Like
Share
I havent seen solicitation on this thread. That is what is not allowed.
Of course you haven't...it would be silly of me to leave ToS violations up on the forum, don't you think?
Like
Share
Advertisements
Do you have friends that could help you out temporarily? I don't get how your family is able to cut you off from the insurance, are you still on their medical policy?
I am currently a full-time student (in community college), so I am on their medical policy. I'm am actually, or at least was about to transfer to UCLA, but I think with my situation I should wait another semester.
In California from what I've understood the adoptive parents can pay for living expenses during pregnancy and then medical bills, but I feel like they are already paying so much just to get a baby that I'm being greedy or unresponsible in expecting them to pay for me as well. But at the same time, I really do need that assistance. One of my biggest concerns right now is actually finding a new place to live for a while. I live in the most expensive part of Southern Cali. So I can't just move out of my parents house that easily, but my father has always been somewhat abusive (very much so verbally and emotionally) and in my current condition I really can't live in that enviroment.
Like
Share
Message from the Moderators (to reiterate what was mentioned above). Members who use the forums to solicite expectant parents will be banned without notice. If expectant mothers ARE solicited, we request that they notify the administration and the moderators immediately. The following is from the Terms of Service:
Community Websites are NOT places for adoptive parents or adoption professionals to solicit birthparents. So many people visit the Community Websites that birthmothers get "pounced on" from dozens of different people if this rule is not strictly observed. Adoption Media is committed to making the Community Websites places where birthparents feel safe. It is not appropriate for adoption professionals or hopeful parents to post "I can help" messages, or Internet addresses for birthmothers to visit, or to send this type of e-mail to birthmothers.
Conversely, it is not appropriate for birthparents to use the Community Websites to solicit adoptive parents. Are you pregnant and considering adoption? For your safety, we strongly recommend that you do not select adoptive parents or an adoption professional from the Community Websites. We have no way of know which parents on the message boards or other community services are qualified to adopt, and which professionals are reputable. Visit [url]www.ParentProfiles.com[/url] to find information on hundreds of hopeful adoptive parents who have each met the pre-adoption requirements in their state. Visit [url]www.AdoptionDirectory.com[/url] to find an adoption attorney, agency or other adoption professional.
Like
Share
Advertisements
numbr1dbcksfan
Where is the baby's father Blue Jean? Is he going to consent to adoption?
He's around. We've been dating off and on for the past four years or so. He's actually my first kiss, first boyfriend, all of that good stuff. He's away at college himself, but he knows and is trying to be as supportive as possible. School is almost out so at least when he gets out he can be here for some support, and what money he can provide he will, but it isn't much. I'm glad when he's back though because I can really use the emotional support he hopefully will provide. He doesn't really care what I do though, he just said do whatever and I'll do what I can do help.
Like
Share
So many people visit Adoption.com that birthmothers get "pounced on" from dozens of different people if this rule is not strictly observed.
I didnt know this was against ToS when I first joined. I had to change my profile to placing and already picked a family because of the PM's I recieved.
Blue Jean, number1 said it all. I humbly follow in her steps. I placed a year ago and I also parent a 7 year old. I'd be willing to chat with you also. Otherwise consider stopping in at a local Planned Parenthood, doctors office, or even some bus stations have these paphlets with a crisis hotline number. It also may be in the government section of your phone book. These people may be able to direct you to proper services or even act as a over the phone counselor for you. These lines are not just for depression and suicide or abuse, they are for women in your place also.
Like
Share
Ah, look at these girls go.
My further advice, which I didn't all ready state, is to talk to women who are all ready Birthmothers. Talk to ones who are happy AS WELL AS ones who, gaining hindsight, would not have placed. Why? You will get a true look of what birthmotherhood is like. It's no ball of fun all the time. Yes, it can have its good moments and it can also take you to the darkest places you've ever been.
I, like the others, would be willing to tell you my story and answer any questions that you have. You're going to have more. Believe me.
My only wish is that I would have sought out other Birthmothers (&fathers) prior to placement so that I would have been better prepared for the emotional onslaught post-placement. It was a total shock to me and left me completely imobilized for a good month or so. And by immobilized, I seriously mean in bed.
Again, feel free to PM any of us (them) with ANY questions.
And thanks for your kind one the other day. Glad I could help. :D
Like
Share
BlueJeanBaby--One thing you might want to look at if you consider an agency is if they have support systems for mothers who choose to parent. That may mean (I don't have first hand experience so I can't say that it's so for sure) that they truly counsel women to help them make a choice, not persuade them to place. The agency I adopted thru (internationally, but they have a domestic program) had an apartment building and a program for parenting women (unlike a lot of agencies that provide housing only to women intending to place). It's no where near you, but I can't imagine that there aren't other such organizations. Good luck.
Like
Share
Advertisements
Blue Jean Baby,
have you talked to the adoption agencies about this? Some agencies set housing up for Birthmoms. I have a friend that went through a priviate adoption through her physican. I know some states the OBGYN may also be able to help you.
BlueJeanBaby
Do you have friends that could help you out temporarily? I don't get how your family is able to cut you off from the insurance, are you still on their medical policy?
I am currently a full-time student (in community college), so I am on their medical policy. I'm am actually, or at least was about to transfer to UCLA, but I think with my situation I should wait another semester.
In California from what I've understood the adoptive parents can pay for living expenses during pregnancy and then medical bills, but I feel like they are already paying so much just to get a baby that I'm being greedy or unresponsible in expecting them to pay for me as well. But at the same time, I really do need that assistance. One of my biggest concerns right now is actually finding a new place to live for a while. I live in the most expensive part of Southern Cali. So I can't just move out of my parents house that easily, but my father has always been somewhat abusive (very much so verbally and emotionally) and in my current condition I really can't live in that enviroment.
Like
Share