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My daughter is acting out in school. She is very young for her class. She doesn't want to line up when told to. She like to wander around class and not do her homework. It is good for awhile and then all of the sudden it is horrible. I got to talk to the principal and the teacher today. They said she is starting to act very defiant. I have tried taking treats away, toys, etc... Nothing is working. Her bio grandma hasn't been around for about 5 months. She acted like it before and after. We are holding her back this year, because the teacher says it is her maturity level. It just seems to get worse towards the end of school this year. We had no problems in Pre-K. She started the year out with a girl that goes to daycare with her. They were getting into a lot of trouble at the beginning. We are not allowing them to play together at school or at daycare. I don't knwo what else to do! I am at my wits end. I hope it gets better for a little while at least before she is a teenager. Any ideas???
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I will say that my mom works in the local school district and she says ALL the kids have spring fever - bad!
Also being held back in kindergarten is no big deal some kids do take a little longer to mature. But I would look into programs that are available for her through the summer like camps that are education based so that she can be learning and in the 'mode' for school in the fall.
Diane
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I see what you are doing, but am curious to know what the teacher/school is doing when she doesn't follow the rules?
If she doesn't line up, what is her consequence? etc.
When my dd was acting out in school, I discovered that I could do things at home but since the consequence was much later after the behavior, it really didn't connect with her. She decided since the teacher wasn't going to make her behave, she had all the control and was going to do whatever she wanted to.
She also didn't respond to things being taken away from her as she doesn't care much about material things. I had to work to find out what mattered to her and it was all about control. Her being in control was all that mattered. Have you discussed any specifics with the school as far as what they do when these problems arise?
They practice love and logic at the school. They move her to a table by herself. I think now that isn't as effective. They sometimes move her to the special ed class for a time out. I went to the store and got a notebook for her to put her feelings about the day in. She can't spell very many words, but I thought she could draw her feelings. We don't have very many days of school left, but I think we will do it during the summer. She acts great at daycare, but not at school. Her daycare teachers are surprised at how she ats at school.
I don't remember if you said how long this has been happening, but you did mention it's near the end of the school year. I wonder if that is the issue right there? Both of my daughters, one who just finished preschool and one who finishes second grade today, don't do well with major transitions like school to long break and long break to school. They like school a LOT, they like being with their friends, they thrive on the routine and order it gives their day, I could go on and on. Losing all that can be really hard on a kid, especially certain personality types. By the same token, however, during the summer they get used to a freer schedule, goofing off and the lower stress, so going back to school is usually hard too. Just a thought.
It has been happening off and on all year. This episode just has been the worse. They lived with us in foster care for 2 1/2 years before we adopted her and her brother. It was a relative adoption. Those are never easy. I am hoping we can survive for another week from today. We are writing in a journal when we get home about how our day went. She really wants to do Ballet. We let her know ballett may be out if she continues to act like this. I think she also is a little embarassed that she will be in Kindergarten again next year. We tried to let her know it isn't because she not smart enough it is because she is really young for her class.
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This is probably a late post, but to me, it sounds like she is just anxious for the school year to get over with.
I do NOT agree with the decision to make the child repeat, ESPECIALLY Kindergarten.
If she received satisfactory grades, then she apparently is not defiant all of the time, so she needs to be in 1st grade, not repeat.
I have seen many friends, and some family members be failed and repeat, and that is worse to their ego and development than a bout of defiance.
Just some other thoughts to consider.
Kristi
Repeating kindegarten shouldn't be too big of a deal if you handle it correctly.
If you find the right teacher, doing some kind of activity (ballet, dance, etc) could help her learn to focus and listen. The teacher could also be updated on school issues and help her be motivated.
Just as an example, Big D (3) did a 4 week intro to dance class with other 2 and 3 year olds. One of them had a lot of trouble listening. She would run up and down the hallway and would not remain focused. But, by the end of the 4 weeks, she was listening more and even walking down the hallway when class was over. This was completely due to the instructor and parent "teaming up" and helping her in dance class.