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I am an mom to two with a very open adoption. My oldest is 3 1/2 and the baby is almost a year. Most people I know with open adoptions have children around the age of mine - young. I am curious to hear from others whose children are a little older and how the children handle it. I like to (hope) think that to my children, having contact with their birthfamily will just "be", because they will have always had them in their life. Sort of a non- issue, for lack of a better word. Just a part of their lives like Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt So-and-So, etc.
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I don't know if six is old enough but our ds just turned six and we have a very open adoption with his birth family. We just celebrated his birthday down at their house and his birth grandfather built him a phenominal drum set. I don't know what the future holds but right now were are definatley in the "it's no big deal" camp. I guess this is all he has ever known so it is all very normal to him. Last "Share Day" at school he took a cute picture of him with his birthmmom at my younger dd's christening. He introduced the picture as a picture of someone very important to him, his birth mother and then asked the class "isn't she beautiful?". There were a few questions but becasue he was so nonchalant about it the kids didn't think it was a big deal either. There are a couple of other adopted kids in the class but they are in semi-open and closed adoptions and I don't know if that has any bearing on how they talk about it but they aren't nearly as open about it as Sam. I do have to say that Sam is a major ham and will spill the most imtimate datails about his life to just about anyone if he likes them so maybe it isn't really related to open adoption.
lisa
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