Attachment Disorder?

If he insists on getting attention and affection on his terms, not yours, I would say you are right to be concerned about RAD. Nancy Thomas's book, When Love is Not Enough, has an excellent, practical, step by step program to do attachment parenting. With a boy this young, I would think you would have very good chances of seeing improvement in a relatively short period of time. Find a QUALIFIED attachment therapist to work with who can help you in your parenting techniques. Also, check out the Attachment Disorder Network for some very informed, generous, compassionate and experienced parents of kids with attachment issues. It's hard, hard work being the mom of a child with attachment issues. You need all the back up you can get.

I agree that finding a qualified attachment therapist is a must. Just be sure the therapist is fully aware of attachment issues. If they aren't, then they can do more harm than good. Attachment therapy can't hurt, so even if some of his behavior isn't because of attachment disorder, the therapy will help you and your son become closer. There is never any harm in that. It sounds as if he does have some attachment issues and at his age he can heal relatively quickly. I am so grateful that your agency made you aware of the possibility of attachment problems. Now you can help him heal while he is young. Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress.

What you describe could be caused by a variety of underlying issues. The best thing to do is to get an assessment by a qualified and appropriatley trained professional. Such a person should be a registered clinician with the Association for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of children, or at least meet those criteria (see [url="http://www.attach.org"]www.attach.org[/url] ). Such a person can screen for sensory-integration issues, do a Strange Situation Procedure to assess attachment, and screen for the subtle effects of prenatal exposure to alcohol, which is a major issue among over 80% of children adopted from Russia. I'd also recommend:Becoming a Family by Lark EshlemanAttaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray. While Nancy Thomas has some good things to say, her book is really directed at parents of much older children with severe behavioral acting out problems...not your situation. regards

6 weeks is such a short time home. If you are seeing changes, you are doing well. I am not sure you can detect RAD so soon. The child hasn't really had much time to bond. Real bonding can take years. This is a huge adjustment, and 6 weeks isn't really giving them enough time to heal from being pulled from a safe environment, learning a new language, learning appropriate family behaviour. It can't hurt to get help - but keep in mind that 6 weeks is a very short time.

This must be a very scary situation for you right now. There are some very good suggestions here already. If you definitely feel that you are seeing signs of RAD, you really do need the help of a qualified therapist. I would also try to "regress" him some, like bottle feeding him while sitting in a rocking chair, with YOU holding the bottle. Games with touching face and eyes, in short all kinds of touchy/feely, close-contact games are helpful. Focus on lots and lots of physical contact, holding him, talking to him, reassuring him. Read the book "Toddler Adoption" (he is still young enough to be considered a toddler) by Weaver's Craft, it is very, very helpful. All the best of luck!

Sarah, My first thoughts are that your child has been home for such a short time and his entire world has been turned upside down. Imagine for a minute suddenly being taken from everything you know - to a strange land, among strangers. And you loose everything - your clothes, your friends, every familiar face, toy, room etc is all gone. I guess any of us would have some strange behaviors. You have some red flags there, but for now they are just that - red flags. Those behaviors can mean so many things. You are so right to be concerned about attachment since your child is at high risk. It never hurts to do a lot of nurturing parenting and if you are really concerned to seek an assessment with a competant attachment therapist. I would recommend going very intense on nurturance, and filling in the developmental voids to help build trust (such as playing toddler games like hide and seek and peek a boo, bottle feeding, lots of cuddling, lots of touch etc). Theraplay has some awesome games you can use to help work on attachment needs. Skin to skin touch is also great. Go swimming together, give them a nice massage while rubbing hand lotion into their back, arms, legs or a nice massage while washing their hair. One other thought comes to mind in such a newly placed child is the normal grief process. Grief can be VERY ugly in kids. My son was the king of grief. As a matter of fact his first appropriate diagnosis was an intense grief reaction. Granted in his case, those behaviors continued and eventually he was diagnosed with RAD, which has been successfully treated using Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. When your child is acting out, try to think of them as intensely sad and have that help to guide your reaction. So many of our kids hide their sadness behind a mask of mad. Along those lines - when discipline is needed try something called time in. This is where instead of sending the child to their room, or to sit alone in a chair - you have them sit with you. Once you feel them soften and relax, then you can nurture and talk.