Adoption Started

See they did not stop the adoption for me but maybe because that is in a differant county. However it may have to do with them both being in family law court. I would say that the only reason he is exercising the visitation now is because he knows of the adoption. I went to family court and asked them to put orders on hold pending the outcome of the adoption. The judge actually did deny though. But you have to file a response to his petition and put the adoption paper you filed in it. You know my bf said he wrote thousands of letters and they all got returned. Well we found out he had the wrong address on them. The mediator said it was not my fault but his that the letters never got to me. Then again I was able to use his prison time as no contact either for the child. I can not tell you much because your county seems so funky.. I can tell you what I did but it seems to not fly in your county. Just stick to the original order where he has to pay for visitation. say it is not comfortable for you to supervise because of the animosity between you and you do not feel safe around him. When they ask about a family member say none of your family wants to be around him. And then as far as his family goes say the child does not know them and you would be safer leaving her with somebody certified to oversee it. not to mention that the monitoring would be nutreal in court if something were to happen. There are plenty of reasons for you to say.

Thanks. I will do all of that. I'm almost tempted to move out of this county just so I can do the adoption somewhere else. The social worker wants me to call her as soon as I'm out of court to find out what the court ordered to see if we should proceed with the adoption. The lawyer I spoke to said theres no way they will order ME to do the supervising if I don't want to. It's the law that he has to see the baby...but it's not the law for him to see Me. How did the family law court react to the adoption? Did it go more in the fathers favor because of it?

Okay, been out of the loop awhile....I've had a really busy non-stop schedule lately...exactly why is the adoption process stopping? I see that he wants visitation but that is a separate issue from the adoption. First off...about the visitation....when you go to court state that the supervision is to be done by a court approved facility. He cannot force you to supervise. Second...what was he in prison for? Thirdly...what code did you use for the adoption? I think you said the abandonment code? This is the problem with the abandonment codes...7000 codes....you have to prove intent....that is why I never used them. Intent is very difficult to prove....kind of like it is the difference between murder and manslaughter....to convict someone of murder...you have to prove that they INTENDED to kill. Same thing with the abandonment codes...you have to prove that he abandoned the child with the INTENT to do so. Now proving that intention...depending on the situation of the opposing parent...can be very difficult to do. Many courts will not accept the abandonment argument when the opposing parent has been incarcerated....they were unable to visit because of circumstances beyond their control. That is why I used the 8604 code when I did my adoption as well as additional codes. If one didn't work then I had others as back up. If he was in prison for something quite serious...you may be able to refile under a different code. Hope this helps.

Thank god you are back. Read through this entire case. Her county is doing things so differantly it is not even funny, She has to stop the adoption period because he filed for visitation. She did file under 8604 I believe. Also they are both held in family law.

I did use 8604. The social worker said that she can't override family law until the bf has had his day in court for visitation. She said if there is a chance for reunification she is going to let it happen. I will not supervise his visitations. We already have a court order he has not followed so taking me to court is a complete waiste of my time and the courts time. I plan on telling the court that I refuse to be in the same room with him. My daughter may have to be but I do not. As far as what he was in prison for, it was just identity theft. Nothing major. So I did not use the prison codes that were suggested in other posts that I read. Thank you for letting me know about that abandonment code. I have attached on one of my post the petition to free her from his grasp. I know you two kept saying that family law is different from the adoptions but here it is done in the same court room by the same judges that do the family law cases. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. Also the bf is trying to get his child support reduced so that he can start paying it again. He always paid it after he was ordered to. So what happens if he pays it? Does that terminate the whole adoption even if he doesn't ever visit? I've noticed its alot easier to terminate the rights if they don't pay support rather than don't contact. Thank you soooo much for coming back Kallen. AJB's mom has been very helpful but we are both confused about why my county is doing it all so differently. NO wonder they only charge $20.00 here and thats all, It's too hard to get it to go through.

I'm confused as to why they are handling it in a family court format as well. The thing is...however...I do not believe that they can estopple a termination hearing based on the father filing for visitation. The termination hearing takes precedence over a family court proceeding. The whole point of a termination hearing is to determine whether or not the child should see this person again. I think the social worker has it backwards on this one.... a termination hearing IS giving the BF his day in court. Now...like I said before my schedule has just been insane and it is not slowing down anytime soon...so I may not be able to research this more thoroughly for you....but hopefully this will give you a start for you to be able to research it further. CALIFORNIA FAMILY CODE, CHAPTER 5. TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS IN ADOPTION PROCEEDINGS 7660-7670 7807.(b) All proceedings affecting a child under Divisions 8(commencing with Section 3000) to 11 (commencing with Section 6500),inclusive, and Parts 1 (commencing with Section 7500) to 3 (commencing with Section 7600), inclusive, of this division shall be stayed pending final determination of proceedings to declare the minor free from parental custody and control under this part. Now, DIVISION 8 of the family code has to do with the custody of children and it commences at FC.3000. and it goes all the way to DIVISION 11 which has to do with minors. The entirety of DIVISION 8 covers child custody, visitation, and support matters. Now if all those matters are to be stayed until a determination is made in a termination proceeding.....where is the social worker getting her information? Just a thought.

And another thing...while I'm on the subject....the social worker almost sounds like she's trying to do the job of a mediator. A reunification plan is not the job she is supposed to be performing. The law is pretty specific about what the report is supposed to contain. CA Fam. Code 7851. (a) The juvenile probation officer, qualified court investigator, licensed clinical social worker, licensed marriage and family therapist, or the county department shall render to the court a written report of the investigation with a recommendation of the proper disposition to be made in the proceeding in the best interest of the child. (b) The report shall include all of the following: (1) A statement that the person making the report explained to the child the nature of the proceeding to end parental custody and control. (2) A statement of the child's feelings and thoughts concerning the pending proceeding. (3) A statement of the child's attitude towards the child's parent or parents and particularly whether or not the child would prefer living with his or her parent or parents. (4) A statement that the child was informed of the child's right to attend the hearing on the petition and the child's feelings concerning attending the hearing. (c) If the age, or the physical, emotional, or other condition of the child precludes the child's meaningful response to the explanations, inquiries, and information required by subdivision (b), a description of the condition shall satisfy the requirement of that subdivision. (d) The court shall receive the report in evidence and shall read and consider its contents in rendering the court's judgment. Now she can, in this report, after interviewing all of you, render her opinon as to whether she believes adoption is in the best interest of the child or not based on the evidence presented to her by those interviewed. But a reunification plan is not part of what she is supposed to be doing. She would also need to state in her report why she believes that the opposing parent should not have rights terminated...etc...and it has to fit into some kind of a legal arguement...like he has irrefutable proof you've really been living in Canada and have been witholding the child and that is why he hasn't been able to visit. There is somthing not quite right procedurally.......the thing with procedure is different counties have different rules in thier courts on some things when it comes to procedure...but it still has to comply with California law. You may have to break down and hire an attorney...because they have a better ability to file motions that would compel the powers that be to follow what the State of California has deemed to be proper procedure in all this. anyway...just another thought. Oh, and BTW...it is $20 to file in my county as well.....it's not the filing fee...its the court.

Your absolutely right. It did seem like i was talking to a mediator instead of someone evaluating the adoption. And I also think your right about the attorney. Seems we are gonna need to get one in order to get the social worker to do HER JOB. I guess its time to save money for an attorney. I do thank all of you for all of your efforts in helping me. I thought it would be alot easier than this. Not sure how I would state all of those codes to the social worker without pissing her off and her thinking I was telling her how to do her job then should wouldnt recommend the adoption at all. So we are going to have to wait till I have enough money for a retainer for an attorney. Until then I will keep documenting anything that comes way about her BF.

It's just better when the family law and adoption proceedings are done in different courts. Because there are different laws and different standards of proof and different requirements. When you lump everything into one court then the lines tend to blur a bit as to what applies and what doesn't under the family code. Up until relatively recently the 8604 code was under the civil codes. The procedure for termination of parental right used to be listed under the civil codes and some still are listed under a different code...the welfare and institutions codes. The 8604 code was moved into the family law codes, but that does not mean that it is the same as all the other family codes. It is an entirely different proceeding with a different set of rules. I'd start researching attorneys...maybe take a couple of legal research classes. They are sometimes offered for a nominal fee at law libraries and those are usually open to the public. Sometimes there are classes and seminars offered at law schools that you can attend. They are usually a bit more for the general public then they are for law students but can be well worth the expense. I know taking some classes at the law library helped me a great deal. They have some fantastic ones offered here in San Diego and they range from $5-$10. Check your community colleges as well. I know that some of the community colleges here offer classes in family law. They are geared for legal assistants and paralegals but they teach you how to research and fill out the forms and write pleadings and petitions. They also teach you the terminology and the instructors are usually attorneys or judges or other well qualified legal professionals. Class is a great place to ask questions and get more than one person brainstorming with you and then you have the instructor guiding you into the right direction. It an option you may want to look into. I know taking classes just helped me get a better understanding of the legal system and why things worked the way they did. It gives you a different perspective it also helps ease fears and frustrations because you get a better sense of what is going on. It sounds like your case is going to take some time to resolve....I highly recommend taking a few classes. It also helps you feel like you are doing SOMETHING. I know from experience how completely powerless and stressed out you feel when all this is going on. Knowledge in this type of a situation is power. The more you know the more in control and less stressed you feel. Even if you hire an attorney....you knowing more about your case and the law applicable to it is an asset. The attorney will not have the time nor the resources to devote to your case like you will. Good luck!

Thanks. I'll keep the board posted on what happens after I take a few classes and get an attorney.

Well I went to mediation today with the bio father. It is going to be ordered that him and her go to a therapist for re-entry into her life. Since he's on disability now he won't ever be able to pay for it. Just like last time. They won't order ME to help him pay for it will they?

In regards to getting a current address, I used intelius.com. It costs about $13. They will tell you if they have his info, and then you will be able to purchase it should you choose to do so. It has been a HUGE help to us.

We have our interview at probation March 7 and then we wait about 8 weeks for the back ground check and then a court date for the adoption and my little girl will finally legally be my husbands little girl too. No lawyer will be necessary because the biological father died. No home visit will be necessary either. Everything seems to be working out for us. It's just too bad that such a horrible thing had to happen for us to finally have some peace of mind and relax a little.

Fingerprints are back. Background check is done. We have our interview on the 7th of March, which all we have to do is present our paperwork showing birth certificates and marriage licenses, no home visit is necessary, and then I file papers asking for a court date. Then we are DONE! Thats it. I'll be so relieved. I'm only doing all of this cause i don't want my ex's family to get ahold of my daughter if something were to happen to me. I want to thank anyone out there that helped me through all of this. I totally appreciate everyones advice and input. I hope this site is as helpful to others as it has been to me.

Did your husband get his fingerprints taken before or after the interview?