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First of all let me state that I fully understand why any mom making an adoption plan would hesitate to choose a family with a strong preference. Her situation is tense enough, and wondering what would happen if her precious child was the "wrong" sort, well--I get it.
But still, here we are. We have 4 bio girls (the last are twins) whom we love dearly, but we also would love to raise a boy (or boys). And we can't have any more of our own; moreover, I've always loved the idea of adoption.
The obvious choice would perhaps be international, but I'm not really comfortable with most of the country programs out there today for ethical reasons. Plus, though we've lived and traveled abroad, I feel very drawn to giving a loving home to an American child.
Is this a hopeless quest? Anyone willing to advise?
Many thanks in advance, and good luck to everyone here!
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From your tone of voice?
I would assume that you would Advocate Pre Natal Care??
As a Mom, I would assume and or Advocate. That Pre Natal Care would be a 'Fair Trade'.
In exchange for a Gender Typing, but I also have Friends who have Surrogated Twins.
The Adoptive Parents flatly refused, or did not want the Male Twin??
I feel that your quest or request is hopeful and not hopeless, but I would ask what would happen or what would your response be if the Ultrasound or Baby's Sex was wrong??
Foster Care to Adopt would also let you chose the Sex??
Juli
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Juli, thanks for your reply. It sounds like my attempt to show that I'm trying to understand first moms' perspectives did not come off very well.I hadn't thought about pre-natal care issues. It's important for us of course to help a mom considering adoption to get the best care possible, not only for the baby but for her.We are New Yorkers and have contacted our state agency in the past about being approved as foster parents, but were told that only children 8 and up were available. Maybe we need to look into that again.
Juli, thanks for your reply. It sounds like my attempt to show that I'm trying to understand first moms' perspectives did not come off very well.
I hadn't thought about pre-natal care issues. It's important for us of course to help a mom considering adoption to get the best care possible, not only for the baby but for her.
We are New Yorkers and have contacted our state agency in the past about being approved as foster parents, but were told that only children 8 and up were available. Maybe we need to look into that again.
Hello,
The second time we adopted, we specified sex (girl) and race (all or part African American). We already had a biracial son, and he wanted a sister who is "brown" like him.
As you may have already discovered, many agencies do not allow sex specification. Nightlight Christian Adoptions does, as does Open Adoption and Family Services. I can't say anything about them, because Adoption.com rules don't allow agency reviews of any kind.
As you're in NY, I don't believe you can use facilitators. NY is pretty strict about that. You might have luck with an attorney.
Feel free to PM me if you'd like, or to check out my blog:
[url=http://chittisterchildren.wordpress.com/]Holding to the Ground | Trying to keep sane as the rules keep changing[/url]
:hippie:
We were gender specific when we signed up with our agency and facilitator. I have 2 bio boys, and always wanted a little pink in the house.
Many times when you are matched, you know the sex of the baby. (At least with the situations we saw). If a situation came up where the sex was unknown, we simply understood this was not the one for us.
As far as NYS foster care, I know there are children younger than 8, my cousin has been fostering for 20 years. The little girl she has now just turned 1 yr...
While there probably aren't many infants, never say never!
Adoption is a leap of faith, where you will laugh, cry, experience great loss or anger in some cases, and even greater joy. As everyone says, it is not for the faint of heart!
Good luck in your journey for some blue in your pink world!
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