Open to Suggestions

I just don't know what to do anymore. A little history: We adopted our 4-year-old son and his 2-year-old brother from foster care. The 4-year-old lived with his bio family until he was 15 months old and was removed for severe abuse and neglect. He went through a couple bad foster homes before landing with us at 1.5. He has always shown signs of RAD (no one will diagnose him... more on that below), but has attached with my husband and I. He is a very intelligent little boy, but appears to be emotionally a couple years behind. His 2 year old brother is more advanced emotionally than he is. Here is the problem: his attention seeking knows no limit. There is absolutely no giving him enough attention. Ever. No matter how much you give him. And it is making us crazy. My husband and I both spend a disproportionate amount of time alone with him, and its not enough. We ignore attention seeking behavior, so he does things like hit his brother, our foster daughter, or the pets. He asks questions that he knows the answer to. "What month is it?". "It's March". "Is today March?" type sequences. If he finds something that will get attention because we cannot ignore it, he repeats the behavior. He tattles ABSOLUTELY NON-STOP. He's sneaky, too. He will "tattle" about things that have not happened. For example, he bit his own arm and said it was the dog. He also has no concept of personal space when it comes to others. He does not like people too close to him, but he also spends 90% of his day far too close to me. For example, he will sit on the couch RIGHT up against me every time. If we sit at the dinner table he will put his foot on my leg under the table. He always has to be touching me. He absolutely has to be the center of attention 24/7. I am taking him to a behavioralist but I am about to discontinue services. She is not effective and is making the behaviors worse. She is prescribing a therapy I do not agree with and is basically withholding treatment to make me comply. She did have him screened for post traumatic issues and he scored off the charts in all areas. When I asked her about potentially medicating him she defaulted back to "not until you try my way first". She also continues to say RAD is a "serious diagnosis" and she will not forward my concerns to the clinic psychologist. My personal background is in special education with a focus in children with emotional impairments. I have extensive experience with children with RAD and see all the signs. I love -LOVE LOVE LOVE- my son, but I know the emotional state he is in is unhealthy. I am going to call my health insurance tomorrow to see about other ways to get him the help he needs, but in the meantime does anyone have any recommendations for the practical day-to-day?