The long wait

Jane,my last adoption was only 9 months start to finish and I thought that wait was hideous. I can't imagine being in process for 18 months, that is one of the reasons I didn't go to China for any of my children.What did I do during the wait?...positive...crocheted hats for our local NICU and for my other children's orphanage...about 20/week for almost 6 months...result was 180 hats for the orphanage and over 200 for the NICUnegative...eating chocolate...gained 30 lbs and ate my way out of my jeans!positive...went on a donation gathering campaign at work...gathered a 30" duffle of donated children's meds (tylenol, allergy meds, cold meds, and vitamins) and about $400 cash.negative...watched movies til early morning every night...insomnia and doubts about adopting a 4th child had me running on about 2-3 hours sleep each night.positive...wrote "while I'm gone" letters for my kids...wrote 30 letters so the folks watching my kids could read them one each day while I was gone.hang in there. in a couple of years you won't even remember how stressful this part of the adoption was and will be asking yourself...couldn't we find room in our hearts and home for just 1 more??Blessings,Hannah

Thank you sooo much for this post!! While I am sorry you are going through this also, I am glad to know I am not alone! We don't have any children, so I think it makes the wait seem even longer. We were registered back in June and requested a September date. So I got busy and finished his room. Now we are told we will not even get a date until Dec/Jan, so who knows when we will travel. On the one hand, each time I walk by his room, I know that he is over there and will be home soon. On the other hand, it is a reminder of how long it will be before he gets here. Some days it seems almost unbearable! We began officially last November, so it has not quite been a year yet. But it feels like an eternity! I also spend way too much time on the internet, looking for news, following all the blogs. It does help though. Maybe this time next year we'll be telling others how quickly the time went by... Cheryl

Actually the China wait for a referral is down to 5-6 months, so please don't let this post dissuade anyone from adopting from China. I do know about long waiting times, though. We waited 18 months for our sons referral from Korea and we were thrilled because the stated waiting times then was 2 years. It can be so hard when you are waiting and also when you have people asking you " So, when is your baby coming home?" Hang in there.

Melissa,For me, single...over 40yo...with other special needs children at home...the total adoption time (start to home) was estimated at 15-24 months by several agencies. That included pre-adoption paperwork and approvals, dossier submission, and 6-9months waiting for referral. It also was dependent on when I applied, before or after the "singles quota" for the year was filled. Since I was adopting an older girl (3-7yo), I chose Ukraine for the shorter timeframe.In my opinion, China is one of the best, fastest, and stablest countries for adoption of young healthy girls, especially if you are married. I often recommend it. I would hate to think my post above would make anyone shy away from China and apologize if it came off that way.Blessings,Hannah

We have been home for six weeks now, following our second adoption. We started the process in the later half of October 2003, had our dossier completed and submitted April 2004 with a registration letter received Sept. 2004; appointment letter received January 2005 and appointment on June 21st. This process exceeded our first adoption from Slovakia by 9 months and while I can honestly say I wasn't anxious, I did waste an awful lot of time on the internet. If I had to do it over again I would: 1. Set up the childs room with a bed, but have access to a crib in the event one was needed. 2. I would shop at thrift stores, purchasing only those items which are in excellent condition and name brands. 3. I would limit my general internet use to 1-2 times per week. 4. I would read every adoption journal I could find for the country I'm traveling to, but would really concentrate on those published within the past year. 5. I would tell no one I was adopting until after my dossier was submitted and approved. I would have saved on answering way to many quesitons from concerned friends and family. 6. I would have spent much more time praying for my child. 7. I would have spent a lot of time getting in shape - primarily walking long distances, and carrying weight. 8. I would have set up a blog and added to it as things worth remembering about the process came up, so I could have it for my child's scrapebook. 9. I would have spent much more time praying for my child. 10. I would have read more books about adoption from all different angles - birthmother, transracial, adoptees viewpoint. 11. Did I mention that I would have spent much more time praying for my child. Your adoption will take place sooner then you think, but probable later then you wish. God Bless and please pray for your child and mine while you have the extra time on your hands.