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About 17 years ago, my husband and his first wife lost their children. The kids went to live with the grandparents. Over the years the mother rarely visited. My husband, of 15 years, was told not to visit. Three years ago, we found the children. The oldest son,19 years old, is currently living with us. The youngest,17 years old, is the difficult problem.He came to live with us, stayed for almost a year, said he wanted his dad to adopt him back. THe grandparents agreed, but hemmed and hauled around and took him back. Six months went that we didn't see him. Then he came back. "Scott" has Miotonic MD and is mentlally retarded, to some degree. As far as living a normal life, he does that, he just has the mentality of a 10-12 year old. Scott called us last week after being back with his grandparents since Dec.04 and wanted to visit. We went to get him and he has now decided that he wants to stay for good. First conversation with the grandparents went good, now they have given us excuse after excuse as to wnat steps need to be taken in order to do this. We need to know what Scotts rights are as far as being 17 years old and wanting to do what he wants. We only what what is best for him and we have discussed this with him. I cant deal with him being here and then he is just gone. We have told him that the only way he can stay is if we get parental rights back. And is because we have enrolled him twice in school and he has come so far as far as education and self esteem, then the grandparents take him back and all his work has gone down hill and we start all over again. Any advise would be very much appreciated. There is so much more to this story so please don't jugde us as emotionless people nor judge the grandparents as they have done the best they could do. We just need some help
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I work with mentally disabled students and if there has been positive progress then you must take that into consideration. The location and the people involved are definitely an aspect that you must be aware of. The gparents and you all must make a decision based the best for the well being of the child. Even though he is 17, with his disabilities the state will not recognize him as an adult until the age of 21. It sounds as if the family needs to have some better communication and more information searching your state laws concerning the processes involved. As an educator I feel that getting him a good education and maybe involved in some community programs for disabled would be a big help. There are listing in the phonebook or you can get online information under most search engines. We have a program in Kansas that gives the students voluntary work experiences and gets them involved in the community to give them a jump start. They can also help with housing or any type of medical help may be necessary. The first step is to decide where would the child be more successful and that is how I would make my decision. I wish you luck. ^^Life is a series of struggles that make us stronger for the next series and repeated many time.^^
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