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Our 8-y-o DS (with us about 10 mos now) had a relatively stable environment in foster care (over 4 yrs in same home) and is doing well emotionally with us. He's a delightful kid, and interested in everything, briefly at least. His IQ was tested at 67 in an early eval., 72 in a more recent one. He was described as "globally delayed", needing everything repeated 3 or 4 times more often than an average kid, having a hard time with transitions, etc. He also has sensory integration problems and has been getting OT for that, and is on medications for ADHD and sleeping, which work very well for him.
Although he is behind grade level and does have obvious school/learning problems (reverses things), he recalls what he hears very well, and his memory at home re things we talked about has been surprisingly good. He has resource class for reading and math, but is still in his normal grade level so far, hanging on by the skin of his teeth. His most recent psych. eval. at school confirmed a Mild MR diagnosis, and the psych. advised us that the gap between his abilities and his classmates will likely increase each year.
He cares a lot about doing well, and tries very hard. He's been pointing out lately the fact that he doesn't get "A"s (he got an overall C- on his last report card), and seems to be looking for an explanation. I try to explain that there's nothing wrong with "C"s, but he doesn't seem convinced. I'm not sure whether to fully accept his mild MR "diagnosis" and explain the limitations we've been told he'll always have, or stay open minded about the possibility that he'll suprise us, and let him arrive at his own conclusions about why it's hard for him... any advice would be appreciated, since he starts 3rd grade Monday! Thanks.
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I would not explain the gap to him as it might make him less likely to try. One thing I was able to do on my sons IEP was to have his grades done pass/fail instead of grades. He eventually begin making A's and B's so they took him off of it. While his IQ test anywhere from 65 to 78(the last was 71), he can absorb classroom knowledge very well.
Nobody can say for certain the gap will increase. When my child was in 2nd grade they told me he'd never read, couldn't copy words from one line to another and had no short term memory. Took a lot of work but by the end of 7th grade last year he was completely mainstreamed, reads well above grade level, and though he has to work at it, gets mostly A's and B's. He still hates transitions, frustrates easily, and has sensory issues among other things. He loves to go to school.
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I wouldn't explain the gap either. My nephew has many of the same issues as lucyjoy's son - can't copy, difficulty reading, no short term memory.
She tried to explain to him about his memory problems. Now he uses it as a crutch. He just turned 9. When he does things he knows he shouldn't, he pulls the "but mom, if forgot, you know I have that problem".
He repeated 2nd grade, hopefully he'll do well in 3rd. Personally, I think that she's doing him a dis-service sending him to the private school that he goes to, but not much I can do about that. I don't feel she advocates enough for him.
On the other hand, I push for every thing for my son. His IEP has alot in it. OT x2, PT x1, SLP x2 (push-in), counceling x1, curb to curb on the small bus, first class to the cafeteria, preferred seating in the cafeteria, 1-1 aide at lunch, 1-1 aide for specials, 12-1-1 classroom. And I flat out told them that if this didn't work, I would call another CSE meeting and get his 1-1 aide back!