Update

You are so very blessed.It is great that the adoptive family continues to honor the open adoption.She sounds like a wonderful mom for your grandson.good luck to all of you!

We ARE truly blessed. And...thank you!

M, as an Adoptive Parent it is sooo refreshing to hear that things went according to plan. I am the proud mother of a little girl we named Star (the one in the picture? :)) We have a wonderful realtionship with Stars Birthfamily including but not limited to aunts, grandparents etc H sees Star quite often. This past year H's family threw Star a Birthday party. We all has a wonderful time! Sometimes adoption realtionships go to pots... I am so grateful and glad to hear that yours is working out! Thanks so much for sharing and I hope things continue to go well. Maria

I'm so glad that things are going well for you, your daughter, afamily and your grandchild. sounds like you guys have found family :) . I'm in a similar situation with our daughter's maternal bfamily. Her bgrandma is about 9 years older than me and we get along just great. Bmom is not 18 yet, so naturally our relationship is slightly more awkward, but is growing. they live 2000 miles away, so we just saw them in june for a week and that was the most special thing! we talk on the phone, send photos often, and write. I do want to comment on one thing you said, about your grandson not needing another grandmother-so wrong! what kid doesn't need all his grandmas! dd has 4 grandmas and we love that she has that many! Each has something different to offer, different temperments, interests, ages, experiences and I want her to know about all of them. we have all her relatives (at least the ones we're in contact with) in a small plastic photo album which she carries around and looks at. we go thru all the names of the relatives, and each photo is of them holding dd-she loves this book more than almost all her others. I'd just encourage you to build a relationship with your grandson-he does need you in his life. who will tell him stories about what his bmom was like, all the mischief she "encouraged", those things that none of the other bgrandmas know? How lucky you are to be able to see him regularly -take advantage of that! I know dd's bgrandparents were reluctant at first, saying that we didn't need anyone breathing down our necks, but we said and still believe that why should they hold back? My belief is that you can never have too many grandparents. and it gives me some comfort as an adoptive parent, that if and when dd's bmom needs some space to live her life, there will be a constant presence from her bmom's side of the family. Also, my parents are 79 and 80 this year, dh's 79 and 69. her bmom's parents are only in their early 50s, which means that as we all age, if she loses her grandparents, some will still be there. As a person who only knew one grandparent, all others were deceased before I was born, that is important to a child. to make a very long story shorter, please remain a grandma to your grandchild-he'll appreciate it all, not just the presents on holidays :) . thanks for sharing your story, Lisa

I am very lucky too! My dd gave birth when she was barely 15, but we had our dgd with us for 7 mos (bfather messing things up) and then dgd was placed in an open adoption. She is now 2 yrs old, and extremely loved. We had a short visit at a football game and a longer one at a kids restaurant. I was just sooo happy to see her, and both my girls were playing with dgd and soaking up the great feeling of actually seeing her after a long time. We get emails all the time, and pictures, usually with the emails and an update picture cd. I know I can email whenever I want, but feel like I am intruding. We didn't have a visit earlier, because my dd wasn't ready. We honored her feelings, even though it was very hard. I probably could have arranged a visit for myself, but would have felt bad. Now, since dd knows she can handle it, we all feel more comfortable, and may have more visits. Bless our dgd's a-parents, they love her so, and they let her know who we are. I knit things for dgd and am happy they accept them. It helps me to feel more connected. I will always love that baby, no matter what! It can work out. Thank God it did for us.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. It was nice to hear from you all, and now know there are other bgrandmas who feel as I do and another amom who thinks the more grandmas the better! My bgrandson's agrandparents also are older (70+), so I actually have thought of that...that, down the road, his bgrandma on his bdad's side and I will still be around (I'm 45). I, too, hold back on being a really involved grandma...don't want to intrude on his life. His mother assures me otherwise, but, still, as my husband puts it, "why get involved with him when it will never be" meaning he will never really be a part of our family. He and other people don't truly understand the wonderful aspects of open adoption. I rarely talk about my grandson to just anybody because people seem uncomfortable with it (like my husband)...like he's not "really" your grandson type attitude, so why are you in his life? That's the impression I get anyway. I'm very lucky tho' to have a good friend whose adaughter is also a part of an open adoption, so she and I love being able to talk openly as we can't with just anyone. Thanks for letting me ramble. This is a wonderful place...I'm so glad I have a place I can go to to REALLY be able to talk about how much I love my grandson and how excited I am about seeing him TONIGHT!! :) Hugs to you all, Marcia