Big Mistake?

August 18, 2005

Hi all--

Need a bit of support from my fellow TNeans. I just read another forum where people were talking about the horrors of adopting older children. Maybe it was a big mistake to read their venting posts.

My husband and I are working with the TN DCS and we're looking for children 0-8 (We're assuming that we'll be matched with a 5 yr old+).

So, is adopting an older child so horrible, especially when working with the state???

Help!

Indy

September 11, 2005

dr. kad,

Try taking a look at the special needs board. You can see what it is like to adopt older children, both positive and negative.

Best of luck in your endeavors.

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dadfor2

September 11, 2005

depends on who you ask.

my younger son came at 4, well, turned 5 when he was living with us for a month

he is great, has some minor issues, but no child is perfect...... :rolleyes:

my older son, came at 7, he has alot of issues and is a struggle...well, was a struggle, he is doing great now.

soooo with that said, any older child in the system, will have losses......so chances are, they will have some grieving to do once they settle down.

but i would just read the profiles carefully and dont jump on any decision.

CW's sugarcoat alot, so be careful of that also. there job is to find these kids homes...so they just might leave a few things out... :rolleyes:

good luck....i dont regret our decision on adopting older children....if i was to adopt again, i can assure you, it would be an older child again...

Jensboys

September 11, 2005

There is lots of good but mostly LOTS of hard work in adopting an older child. Check out these forums - knowledge is power!

Older Child Adoption [url]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=475[/url]

Facilitating Attachment [url]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=818[/url]

Attachment Disorders [url]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=467[/url]

Attachment Disorder Parenting [url]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=815[/url]

Special Needs and Attachment Forum (this has a complete listing of issues you might face) [url]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=221[/url]