new at this and scared

I had a misacarriage last night. The doctor says I might have to have a surgery done to clear everything up, because I don't seem to be bleeding enough. My ex didn't even show up or call. So I went over there today and told him he was out of my life for good, because he was a liar and pretty much a sad excuse for a human being.My mom is coming up tomorrow to be with me, and I'll probably quit my job and move back home for a few months, until I go to graduate school next fall.I'm scared about this surgery. Has anyone ever been through it? The doctor said it was basically like an abortion, only it was more high risk and they probably would put me all the way under.

Monkie, I beg of you not to take this the wrong way, but I was wondering how you know you miscarried. Who told you this? Is it a possible miscarriage (threatened) or has the baby passed away, but has not exited your womb yet? Where did you go to get this info? An OB/GYN that is or is not offiliated with a clinic or abortion? What did he do to check to see if your child was no long living? Ultrasound? The reason I ask is not to insult you...please know that you have my sympathy for all that you have gone though and been put through these past weeks. The reason I ask is because I have heard so many tragic stories of women who were lied to by abortion clinic staff or doctors who perform abortions and told their baby had died and they need to have a procedure done to remove it when in fact this was not the case. One young lady who was 17 wks pregnant went to an abortion clinic for information and counseling because she was not ready to be a mother (she was tinking adoption, but also wanted to see what was available to her should she decide to parent). She told them she did NOT want an abortion. They said fine. The clinic staff recomended that instead of having to wait till she gave birth and relinquish a child she had bonded with, she could do an "embryo transplant" whereby their doctor would remove the fetus from her uterus and place it in the womb of an infertile woman...the baby would then be "adopted" by the new mother and the young lady would not have to have an abortion. She was thrilled! So, she agreed to undergo an "embryo transplant". When she was taken back to do the pre-transplant ultrasound, they told her the baby had already died and she needed to pay for an abortion to remove the "products of conception". You do NOT need to have an abortion to remove a dead baby...an abortion is done in order to end the life of a human, not to remove the body. She agreed to the abortion to remove the "miscarried" baby. She was very upset. Now, the reality is, there is NO such procedure in existance with current technology that can transfer or transplant the embryo or fetus from the body of one woman to the body of another. It simply does not exist. Transfer a zygote from a petri dish to a uterus? Yes. But once the embryo has implanted in a woman's womb, it cannot be removed and survive to be re-implanted. They lied to her to get her to agree to have the child "removed" and lied about the death of the baby to gain consent to perform an abortion (for which they were paid) that she did not want. (The clinic was charging her to perform the transplant too, but in an "adoption" situation, any and all medical expenses are always covered by the adopting parents, NEVER the birth mother. There would be no cost to this girl. The woman recieveing the transplant would cover all medical expenses...IF this were a legitimate procedure, which it is NOT.) I just caution women to get a second opinion in these cases because doctors can be wrong and it is in your best interest to double check before you submit to a procedure that is dangerous to you. If you have miscarried, please know that I mourn with you at the loss of your son or daughter. Blessings.

It's called a D&C and yes, I have had two, one after each of my miscarriages. I was put under for both of them. They were not painful, just some discomfort afterward. Please contact me privately if you want to chat. I am sorry for your loss. Unplanned does not mean unloved.

I would like to know where you heard these stories and if they have been substantiated. Not to insult you, but these are fairly wild alligations.

I am so sorry about the loss of your baby. I am happy to hear that you will be going home for a break to be surrounded by people who love you and with whom you can mourn your loss. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. Don't underestimate the sense of loss that you will feel. As it was so eloquently stated in a previous post - "unplanned does not mean unloved". Hugs, Happy G'Ma PS - I have not had a miscarriage with D&C but I have many friends who have. It was uncomfortable for them for a while afterwards. Plus, they were mouring the loss of their babies so they felt sad too.

No problem...I understand this sounds "wild". I read the story of a 15 year old who went to an abortion clinic becasue she felt she had no other choice. According to her, the clinic staff recommended the "embryo transplant". After reading this story and having had several children, my little antenna went up. I contacted a friend of mine who is an RN to ask if this is possible. I thought (benefit of the doubt) MAYBE this was brand new technology. Although, with something this amazing, you would think it would have media coverage! My friend told me this was not possible. I also contacted my family doctor and he agreed it was not possible. Some might think this girl is just lying or was confused, but I ask...where would a 15 year old get the idea that an "embryo transplant" was available to her and use that kind of terminology? Her story was posted on: [url]http://womensissues.about.com/library/unplanned/blaborsh14.htm[/url] I contacted the woman who runs that area of the forum with the letter that is printed following the young lady's story of her experience. The woman is named Nikki Katz. She responded to my emails with the following: "Julia, Thank you so much for your post. I will make sure to research this and write a feature. Would you be ok if I add your email to the page with Cindy's story, for those who read her story? Nikki" I replied: "Nikki, "Absolutely. Thank you for your interest and concern. Cindy unknowingly reported a crime on this board and my regret is there wasn't enough information given to pursue those responsible for lying to this young lady and performing an unwanted abortion. If you could, I would appreciate knowing the progress you make concerning this situation. If I find out anything else that may be helpful, I'll be sure to forward it on to you. Thanks again, Julia" Nikki responded with: "Julia, I emailed Cindy and asked her for information on the clinic she went to. I have been able to find NO information at all on embryo transfer, so she was very obviously lied to (apart from the information you sent me!) I will add your information and keep you posted. Nikki" I have heard so many times instances where women and young women in particular are not given accurate information and the lack of accurate information leads them to make a decision that they otherwise might not have made. My daughter's birth mother for example was 13 and told by the abortionist at the clinic that her baby was not formed yet at 20 weeks. She was further told that no one would want the baby because she was a "bi-racial rapist's baby" (infering that something was wrong with the child for being conceived out of an act of violence instead of love and that something is wrong with bi-racial children and by extention, bi-racial relationships). Finally, when she still resisted, they told her she would die if she didn't consent to the abortion. She gave in and they began the procedure to dilate her with the metal rods. She was in pain and upset so the abortionist stopped and said he wanted her put under (she was awake for the 20 wk abortion), but her mom didn't have the extra money so they rescheduled her. During that time, she she was given accurate information about fetal development, what was going to happen during the abortion, learned her options and risks. The clinic had not told her this information. She decided to place her baby for adoption. She had no problems with pregnancy or delivery, the baby was VERY wanted, and this young lady did NOT die. Finally, the clinic had done STD blood tests. They never gave her the results. Not prior to the 1st abortion attempt or the rescheduled procedure...not at all. When she bagan prenatal care late in the 2nd trimester, it was discovered her rapist had given her chlymidia, that left untreated, can cause sterility...particularly if it is introduced way up into the uterus and fallopian tubes that are raw after an abortion. She was not given the information to make an educated choice for an abortion. She was not even given the information to get treated to protect her futrue fertility (and also the eyesight of her child...the clinic didn't know if she had chosen to give birth or not and this disease can cause blindness in infants). Luckily she was treated by her OB and is cured. But she might have aborted at 13 the only baby she would ever have been able to concieve all because information was withheld from her, she was given false information, and she was not able to make an educated decision...and didn't know any better. She trusted these people! They were, after all, doctors and we tend to trust doctors and counselors. Hope you find this info helpful. Take care, DENAJA

Hey! I appreciate the discussion, but could we PLEASE get this thread back to focusing on the young woman who lost her CHILD!! Thanks, Happy G'Ma

Monkie, How are you doing? ~DENAJA

Monkie I am so sorry sweetheart,, i pray that all is ok, I have suffered a loss in pregnancy, I know how hard it is,, How ever the loss comes about, it feels so painfull and it is hard to believe that anyone understands how you feel.. You are not alone, thankgod for your family that they love you and are there for you. Allow them to love and nurture you during this time, you deserve as much of it as you can get. I wish I could send a big warm hug, but I now that really nothing at this point will help except time... I promise that time will help heal you broken heart... with lots of love, andi

A D&C... Is that the same procedure as what they do at an abortion clinic? because everything is just so expensive... if i can get it done for $350 instead of $2500, that would help, i think...

Most clinics won't do an abortion without a positive test - and if you've miscarried, your HCG levels won't indicate a positive test most likely. The wait and see method is dangerous - as it can lead to infection and other complications, so talk to your Dr. If money is an issue, apply for assistance from the hospital - most hospitals offer a service for low income people in which the fees are reduced or paid for thru "scholarship" type donations. Another option would be going to a state run hospital in your area...I don't know where you are located, but they often have very reduced fees.

Actually performing abortions on non pregnant women is pretty common and its been quite well documented throughout the years, various news stations, newpapers, journals etc have investigated and exposed it. Sadly, until the abortion industry is regualted, currently it is not, one does not know if a particular clinic operates in such a way. If the clinics were regulated, we wouldnt see this soming up. It is a money booming industry just as anything else. Google Carol Everett and others that have testified that money is the driving factor. Doesnt matter what side of the fence you are on.... there are peeps that take advantage of women in all walks of life.. the abortion industry is not exempt.. =============== Carol Everett who was involved in the abortion industry in the Dallas, Texas, area from 1977 to 1983. As director of four clinics, and owner of two, Everett was responsible for the clinics' daily operation. Everett, who had an abortion soon after it became legal in 1973, now speaks out on what she saw in the abortion industry. Here's how Carol Everett answered questions about the abortion industry: Q. What is the governing force behind the abortion industry? A. Money. It is a very lucrative business. It is the largest unregulated industry in our nation. Most of the clinics are run in chains because it is so profitable. Q. In what way is the woman deceived? A. Every woman has two questions, "Is it a baby?" and Does it hurt?" The abortionist must answer "NO." He/she must lie to secure the consent of the woman and the collection of the clinic's fee. The women were told that we were dealing with a "product of conception" or a "glob of tissue." They were told that there would be only slight cramping, whereas, in reality, an abortion is excruciatingly painful. Q. What type of counseling was offered at the clinics? A. We didn't do any real counseling. We sold abortion. Q. How did you dispose of an aborted baby? A. We put them down the garbage disposal. Some second and third trimester babies' muscle structure is so strong that the baby will not come apart, so they must be disposed of through trash receptacles. Q. Abortion is supposed to be a "safe" experience. What complications did you witness? A. In the last 18 months I was in the business, we were completing over 500 abortions monthly and killing or maiming one woman out of 500. Common complications that take place are perforations or tears in the uterus. Many of those result in hysterectomies. The doctor might cut or harm the urinary tract, which then requires surgical repair. A complication that is rarely publicized is the one in which the doctor perforates the uterus and pulls the bowels through the vagina, resulting in colostomy. Some of those can be reversed, some must live with the colostomy for the remainder of their lives. Q. Why did you get out of the abortion business? A. Two things came into play at the same time. I experienced a profoundly religious transformation -- a conversion. At about the time I was having second thoughts, a Dallas television station did an expose disclosing the abortions performed at my clinic on non-pregnant women -- all for money! I finally realized, "We weren't helping women -- we were destroying them -- and their children." By then my transformation was complete and I knew that I not only had to stop being involved with abortions, but I had to help promote the truth. ~yvonne

Yvonne, I realize that you are anti-abortion...and thats fine - but one personҒs account of practices that took place twenty-two years ago is hardly "pretty common" as you stated. Anyone can find a study or an article to support their opinion - I am just sharing information based on FACTS surrounding my experience with abortion, having had one using an ethical clinic in none other than Dallas Texas.

Yvonne I don't see how this information is beneficial to the poster. I can understand wanting to educate others, but really don't think that it is going to benifit Monkie right now. I also agree with christine about the legitamicy of the information it gives. I am sorry but I feel the same as the others in regards to the info you posted. I was a bit taken back that it this article was included in your post. The first paragragh of your post stated info that YOU felt corrected the info given, Imo it should have been left at that. The time and place is just not right, this girl has gone through alot this past few weeks and i don't think getting into abortion debates is going to help her. Monkie,,, Brandy is right there is a risk of infection, I have had it happen, be very careful and look into the programs that she mentioned. Make sure that the care you are given is safe, and ethical, you should be just fine "physically" if you do this. I hope that you are ok and well be thinking of you, andi

Apologies to all for getting off topic... Many of ya know how passionate I am :D Yvonne