rant- with a few tears

She OBVIOUSLY doesn't respect you. You can either lie there and continue to be her door mat or you can do something about it. Let her know what she did was wrong, do not let her justify it (she obviously went way beyond a trim I.e. She lied to you), and until she gives you a real apology (where she accepts responsibility and doesn't blame others or try to justify or say sorry for your feelings etc) stay away from her. Also, she should not be left alone with your kids. She is actively teaching them to have no respect for you. Sorry if I was harsh but I would bet real money this is not your only problem with her. Congratulations on your upcoming adoption. Maybe you could have Sassy Pants hair up in a French braid or two by then with the help of a lot of hair spray.

In all fairness, she asked and you agreed. It looks horrible but it's really not about lack of respect, just about taste. For the pics, put a a a hairband on the child and it will look nice.I disagree that this is a big issue about lack of respect, and I hope you don't see read into anything more about it that just --hair. She asked and gave them what she thinks is a nice haircut--and you see as a horrible mullet--but really, what matters here? Hair grows back.

Wavesofchange - I agree with MomofEKG, it shows a huge lack of respect to cut another persons kids hair (grandma or not) my mother would never and my 2nd DD's bio grandma made a comment one time about trimming DD's hair and said "but I thought I probably shouldn't" I think most people would think better of it, especially given the adoption situation. I wouldn't have allowed the grandma to trim her hair if she already did cut your son's hair without permission especially the first time. Clearly it hurt your feelings and now she's ruined your child's hair before the finalization hearing. I would be adult and tell MIL that the kids get their hair cut at the salon and that you ask that she not trim or cut their hair anymore. You need to just be upfront and honest. Take her someplace and get her hair as fixed as it can get. Best of luck and sooo sorry sweetie. I'm a stickler when it comes to my kids hair and clothes in pics so I understand how hard this must be for you! Talk about a lifetime of a horrible memory.

Wavesofchange - I agree with MomofEKG, it shows a huge lack of respect to cut another persons kids hair (grandma or not) my mother would never and my 2nd DD's bio grandma made a comment one time about trimming DD's hair and said "but I thought I probably shouldn't" I think most people would think better of it, especially given the adoption situation. I wouldn't have allowed the grandma to trim her hair if she already did cut your son's hair without permission especially the first time. Clearly it hurt your feelings and now she's ruined your child's hair before the finalization hearing. I would be adult and tell MIL that the kids get their hair cut at the salon and that you ask that she not trim or cut their hair anymore. You need to just be upfront and honest. Take her someplace and get her hair as fixed as it can get. Best of luck and sooo sorry sweetie. I'm a stickler when it comes to my kids hair and clothes in pics so I understand how hard this must be for you! Talk about a lifetime of a horrible memory.

My opinion is that I would be horrified and furious at the way out of line behavior of chopping off your daughters hair. A trim is one thing - half an inch to an inch but to chop it off and restyle your daughters hair is so over the line and Out of Order in my book. That is NOT her place to make a Mom's decision on chopping off her five year old's hair. Same as giving your child his first hair cut - WAY OUT Of ORDER - in my opinion......... I would be having a very clear discussion about respect and boundaries. I would be sick about it, honestly. Yes it grows back but it is just not someone else's decision to make. SM