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I need to get some oppinions from mom that may be looking at adoption or have gone through with adoption. My husband and I are looking to adopt, we had just went through an adoption but at the end the mom changed her mom. Which is understandable, however, we were so broken hearted because we spent 5 days with the baby in intensive care as acting parents. Now, we had been chosen to adopt that little girl from a freind who knew a freind, and the birth mom didnt want agency, she didnt want social services and allot of people in her business. so I agreed, at that time we went the private independent adoption, which is just the mom, us, our lawyers. We offered the same services that an agency would had, however the birth mom again wanted it simple, and less people involved, and she said she didnt feel any one wanting to adopt a child that someone else cant raise at the time should spend, incredible fees. So we took the route she wanted. My husband and I are back at square one..We so badly want to adopt a baby, right now we are completely set up for a girl, but if god sends a boy, so be it.My question to those that either went through an adoption or planning to, would you perfer going through an angecy or working one-on one with the adoptive parents, the lawyers, which the adoptive parents pay for one for you and one for us, and theres long term communication with your child and adoptive parents??? Again, because we are starting over to look to adopt our dream child, we just want to know where to start again?magic4u2c@adelphia.net
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debbiecornish
I need to get some oppinions from mom that may be looking at adoption or have gone through with adoption. My husband and I are looking to adopt, we had just went through an adoption but at the end the mom changed her mom. Which is understandable, however, we were so broken hearted because we spent 5 days with the baby in intensive care as acting parents. Now, we had been chosen to adopt that little girl from a freind who knew a freind, and the birth mom didnt want agency, she didnt want social services and allot of people in her business. so I agreed, at that time we went the private independent adoption, which is just the mom, us, our lawyers. We offered the same services that an agency would had, however the birth mom again wanted it simple, and less people involved, and she said she didnt feel any one wanting to adopt a child that someone else cant raise at the time should spend, incredible fees. So we took the route she wanted. My husband and I are back at square one..We so badly want to adopt a baby, right now we are completely set up for a girl, but if god sends a boy, so be it.My question to those that either went through an adoption or planning to, would you perfer going through an angecy or working one-on one with the adoptive parents, the lawyers, which the adoptive parents pay for one for you and one for us, and theres long term communication with your child and adoptive parents??? Again, because we are starting over to look to adopt our dream child, we just want to know where to start again?magic4u2c@adelphia.net
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We are going through private adoption.We are hopeful adoptive parents to a beautiful baby boy...who is now 5 months old.Our experience like all adoption situations is extremely emotional.The biological father has not signed off his rights and has been wavering back and forth with his decision...we are at this time awaiting a courtdate.I would like to say with the birthmom she was wonderful and still continues to support her decision for us to keep the baby.The birthmom has us involved from doctor appointments down to the actual delivery!!! How we prayed and prayed for God to one day send us our angel...and once out of the blue through friends of friends we were told of this birthmom...how she heard of us wanting to adopt for years..from our first conversation we got along so well.We were honost with each other from day one we talked of what she wanted out of this adoption and what we wanted.She is just so very special to us and will forever hold a special place in our hearts....this was an at risk adoption which we knew from the start and had decided to take the chance.I would rather take the risk then to always wonder what if....At this point however this could go either way and we continue to pray God's plan is for this precious baby to remain with us forever....If ever a chance would come again for us through private adoption we would not hesitate to go through with another private adoption.For us, this baby is our whole world he is just so very, very much loved..and we pray that everything will be okay.
Well as a B-mom I wanted my adoption to be private BUT my little girls A-Family wanted us to go with an Agency... this way we had people we could talk to and would know how to handle what was happing tous better. They agency calls us Private they're just there IF we need someont to talk too and MAN did it help and I thank God everyday that they made us go to the the Agency... Pluse its a safe gard soo she can't say in 5 years you persured her into any thing..
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We had a private interstate adoption with attornies that required an agency homestudy. When talking with lawyers before picking the one we did, make sure that you are dealing with one that has experience in your specific situation. Some lawyers will work on adoptions, but they are NOT adoption attornies. They can end up hurting you in the end because they are not used to doing this work and can miss something creating a "legal loophole" that can end up causing problems for your family. Also, if you are doing an interstate adoption, make sure the lawyer has done adoptions between the 2 states in question...all state laws are different. We had a lawyer in both the "sending state" and the "recieving state" because that is what we were told we needed. After paying the retainers to both attornies, we learned that the one in the "recieving state" actually couldn't help us and wasn't essential to the process, but she still managed to use up the entire retainer. I still don't know what she did and when we asked for the balance back, it took months and during those months, she burned through the balance. But, we didn't know any better and we trusted this person. Just really research. I liked the private adoption experience, but I have nothing to compare it to. We had a close relationship with the lawyer and she was available to us at anytime and she also didn't need to consult our file every time to know our status. She was there when we took custody and we felt she did a wonderful job being there for us and our daughter's birth mom. She was caring about both parties involved...not just us and we liked that about her. We love our daughter's birth mom and wanted her to be respected and her rights protected...it isn't all about us.
Hope this helps some. Good luck!!!!! Get ready to do mountains of paperwork! LOL!!!! And after paperwork, DIAPERS!