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I am so excited that I had to share this. After 10 years of being on various search boards I finally found my daughter that I gave up for adoption when I was 16. She actually found me. We met for the first time 3 nights ago, It was awesome. I am now having major anxiety over her meeting the rest of the family. (She wants to and they are very open to it). I just want everything to go well. It also brings up alot of old emotions and hurts. Alot to deal with but it is worth it. She is a beautiful young lady brought up in a good family.AnitaP.S Any suggestions from anyone that has experienced this would be welcome.:D
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Scoobymum4
Congratulations - your head must be spinning and your heart pumping. I remember that time too and marvel at the overwhelming emotions that came to the fore. You've been through the face to face, and now its meet the family time. I can empathise with your nerves, and your wish for it all to go very smoothly. BUT, ultimately you can't change what will happen or stage-manage it beforehand. How your daughter reacts to family members, and how they interact with her is out of your hands. I understand that their acceptance will make it easier for you both to become connected, but we can't change or alter how others react. My suggestion to you is......allow everyone to proceed at their own pace, and remember that your relationship with her is not conditional on others. It's a primal link that was there at birth and is now acknowledged. Stay focused on what you both are trying to achieve and don't be distracted. I'm sure your family is aware of how important it is for you to make this work and, in time, will create their own relationships with her.
Big deep breathes, be happy and positive, and we will look forward to an update on here after the big event.
Ann
Scoobymom4,
Wow!! What a life-altering experience you are beginning!
I'm in reunion w/my 20yr old birthdaughter. She searched and we spoke for the first time this March.
You've gotten through the "major shock wave" already by meeting your birthdaughter and since her family is very open to meeting, I'm sure there will be nothing to worry about. Sounds like everything is off to a really great beginning.
Kune has given you excellent advice, very well stated so there isn't much I can think to add. My only advice is simply to take it slow and make it last. Build a lasting relationship and let your birthdaughter set the pace or have the reins. It's a wonderful journey!!
Wishing you many, many years of love and happy times!!
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