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Long story short...I went to go visit my biological half sister for a couple days. We did to go the grave of my biological mom. Since I got back from the trip, I have been grieving her death I think in a way that I hadn't been. My biological sister is the only person that knew about me and the only one that my biological mother told about placing me for adoption. In fact, my biological sister said that my biological mother did say that maybe they could meet me one day. However, I was too late in my search I guess. Her death has been affecting me in a way that it hadn't before. I am not sure what to do with these feelings. I guess in a way I am realizing that her death affected me too in ways that I never thought it would. I just wish I had gotten a chance to meet her, to thank her, and that I just wanted to tell her that I had a happy childhood, a happy life. Coming to the realization that I would never get to tell her that I did think about her, that on my birthday I always thought about her and wondered if she remembered. I am definitely grieving her death, not sure how to handle it I guess.
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