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Hello-
It has been a while since I have posted here, every year that goes by since my daughter was stolen from me through a fraudulent adoption eats at me. I did not consent to having another family raise her, at least not willingly or with all my facilties. It burns me they sat in court and know what was done to me but ignore it and worse will not even send the pictures they agree to, my daughter is now six years old and every day is a day I lost with her for no other reason than pure selfishness. I do not bother them, I have done everything they asked me to , no gifts, no nothing and yet I can't even get a single picture of my sweet angel. I do not understand it at all, and this time of year is the worst seeing sweet little girls dressed for holiday pictures just like I would dress her if she was with me. I do not understand how anyone can hear and see such pain but ignore it.
Brandy Bottini Elkins
life mother To Amberlie Jeanette Bottini
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hi brandy,
I'm so sorry about what you're experiencing. the fact that your daughter's aparents haven't held up their end of the bargain really burns at me (which is why I'm an advocate of legally binding open adoption agreements-we have one with dd's bdad). I don't know how they can look themselves in the mirror and know what they've done, or look at your daughter and not feel a twinge of guilt. Can the agency (if you used one) talk to them?
I hope you find some peace this holiday season.
(((hugs)))
Lisa
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One thing that helped me to resolve my anger is realizing that it was my decision in the first place. It was I that decided on adoption, no one forced me into it (although I was influenced into making a decision before I was ready).
I won't go into all my story here but there were alot of hurtful things said and done with the adoption of my daughter.
The main thing that has helped me is creating a life of my own. I'm married and had five more children now and I've been so busy taking care of my family that I haven't had much time to think about the daughter that I lost. If you don't have a family to take care of you need (for your own
sanity) to get busy doing something in your life . That will make the time pass more quickly and before you know it your daughter will be a teenager and then she'll be eighteen and it will be time to search.
The second thing that has helped me recover from my anger and make the time pass more quickly is forgiveness. Yes, forgiveness. Forgive the a parents and all those involved that helped to mess this adoption up for you. It will do you a world of good. Because someday you might get to meet your birthdaughter and you don't want her to meet an angry woman who has not accomplished anything in life other than being angry and phocusing her whole life on her lost daughter.
So please forgive those who have wronged you and have a happy life.
Rhonda