Going to call birthmom regarding first visit

Well we are planning a visit to see our family and the birthmom will be their some of the time. Birthmom away at college comes home on weekends to stay with my parents. I'm going to call her to speak to her regarding our visit and how we want to handle the first visit with all of use. We adopted a family members baby and the birthmom is doing well it seems but I don't really know. She doesn't talk very much about the baby and I'm not sure were she is in dealing with all this. We provided her with counseling after and she went for a while. I did speak with her a few weeks ago and she did say she was glad for her decision and she is glad the baby is with us and we look happy. She has not asked for any pictures from us but gets some from our family. We feel that we can not all stay in the same house for this first visit and i am going to tell her that we are getting a hotel . I have been very nervous about even brining up the baby due to her not every talking about the baby. I just don't want any surprises on our trip and I feel i need to talk to her to let her know what is going on and how we feel and see what she thinks. I just hope that she understands that we can not all stay together at my parents house it would be to hard for us (me) for the first visit. I know we are not ready for that and I don't know if she is either.My parents can't wait to see our baby and It makes it hard when the birthmom likes with my parents. Any advice will be great. Thanks