Domestic Vs International Adoption- advise please

I adopted internationally because I wanted to be assured of a child using a pretty reliable process and timeline. I was not comfortable with the unknown wait. There are risk for both international and domestic adoptions. I think you probably can adopt domestically, and actually my SW is pushing that now, given the craziness in the Eastern Eurpean adoptions. Kay

i have adopted once domestically and in the process of adopting my second child. both of my children were foster/adopt. i got my son at 4 months and my daughter at 6 weeks. my son was 2.5 when adopted and my daughter is now 11 months but still not adopted. i am single.

Lee Ann, I have adopted twice independently - once through the state and once independently - both newborns. I am now waiting for my third - also domestic. It is certainly possible. How quickly depends somewhat on the route you take and what your requirements are (open to different races, gender specific or not, whether you will accept prenatal drug exposure, how much openness you want after the adoption etc). My first adoption took about 18 months after home study approval, my second 9 months. If you want more info or have questions feel free to pm me. Cynthia

I adopted a newborn domestically through and agency. My entire process was 3 1/2 months before I was in the delivery room. The home visit part of my home study was on a friday and my daughter was born the following friday.

I adopted from Guatemala and am also single. Nathan came home almost one year ago and is now 16 months old. I am currently working on my second adoption, also from Guatemala. When I started researching adoption, I too though it would be very difficult if at all possible to adopt domestically being single. I though that PBMs would prefer a two parent household and my chances were slim at best. I didn't do much research on this and instead, my heart drew me to international adoption and specifically Guatemala. Having a friend from Guatemala definitely pointed me in that direction. Some of my other reasons for choosing Guatemala were the fact that you could bring home a relatively young child (Nathan was 4.5 months when he came home), that they were generally very healthy and well cared for in a foster care invironment. Also, the proximity of Guatemala to the US and the short time required in country were also benefits. But, there are downsides to international adoption as well. You are dealing with a foreign government and they are not always as reliable. If you do decide to adopt from Guatemala, please research your agency very carefully - they can make all the difference in your process. If you have any questions, or want to chat, feel free to contact me.

I'm single and adopted from Russia a little over two years ago. My focus was reliability and timing. At the time Russia was running pretty smoothly. I considered foster adopt, but it wasn't right for me. I didn't consider private domestic too much. I felt that the "competition" was too stressful. I couldn't be happier with my decision. Best of luck in whatever path is right for you.

I am single, and the Mom of a wonderful daughter from China. Singles do all kinds of adoption nowadays -- domestic agency, domestic private, domestic foster care, and international. There is no "perfect" route to adoption. Each type of adoption has its good points and its risks. You need to figure out which is right for you. And whichever route you choose, it is a good one for a child in need of a family. In my case, I chose China for a variety of reasons, which I'll list, but ultimately it all came down to the fact that it just "felt right": a) China has an extremely ethical and organized adoption system, which is relatively stable. You don't encounter bribery or baby-selling, and you are virtually 100% certain to bring home a child. b) There is an enormous need for adoption from China, as a result of forces like poverty, the one child policy, etc. Thousands of children are currently living in orphanages and foster homes. c) While boys are available, at least 90% of the children who are available are girls. As a single who had never parented, I felt most comfortable with a girl. d) Virtually all of the available children from China have been abandoned -- a few may have been orphaned -- so they are legally free for adoption. There is no longer an option for the birth family to decide to parent. e) While nothing is known of the children's medical history, due to their abandonment, and while the amount of information available from the orphanages when I adopted was very, very limited, most of the children seemed to receive good care and to be "as described". There have been relatively few major undiagnosed health problems, like severe reactive attachment disorder or fetal alcohol syndrome, although no adoption is free of medical risk. f) At the time I adopted, China welcomed singles and older parents. (I was 51 when I adopted.) This is less true now. China now has an 8% singles quota and 50 is the cutoff age for singles, although it is higher for married couples. g) Chinese culture is similar to my own Jewish culture, in the emphasis placed on education, respect for elders, and reverence for tradition. I felt comfortable about making my family part Chinese. h) In my part of the U.S., Asians are numerous and there are many who have been visibly successful. Finding Chinese adult role models for my child would be easy. (We have actually moved to a heavily Chinese neighborhood.) i) My area includes at least 200 children adopted from China by Caucasians. Therefore, my child would see a lot of families that "look like" ours. j) My area has a large chapter of Families With Children from China, which helps adoptive families celebrate their children's birth culture. So I would have plenty of support in helping to give my daughter a positive view of China and adoption. k) Many fine agencies, including several in my area, place children from China. I easily found one that met my needs. l) China adoption fees are relatively modest. Even today, a single can complete a China adoption for about $15,000. m) Most of the people you meet in China seem to approve of Americans adopting abandoned Chinese children; there isn't the anti-adoption and anti-American sentiment you find in some countries. n) The China trip is relatively brief -- 10-14 days --and usually very pleasant because you travel in a group of other adopting families from your agency. You don't feel "alone", you are in good hotels, you have an English-speaking guide/translator, etc. I think you need to sit down and do a little research on both domestic and Guatemalan adoption, and make up a table listing the strengths and weaknesses of each from your perspective. You also need to think about the option that "calls" to you. As an example, do you picture yourself walking down the street with a little child of Mayan descent (most of the Guatemalan children available for adoption come from the indigenous -- "Indian" -- population? Do you enjoy Latin American art, music, and food? Do you find yourself reading every article in the paper that mentions Guatemala? Have you, perhaps, done some volunteer work in the Hispanic community or participated in your church's charitable efforts for Guatemala? These may lead you to a decision to pursue Guatemala. Take time to become well-informed about all of your options. You will know when one emerges as "best" for you. Sharon

When I was searching for the answer on bringing a child into my life, adopting seemed like the biggest thing to figure out. And I suppose from a thirty thousand foot level it was. But after the decision to adopt comes a new reality - unlike bio kids, when you adopt you end up "choosing" and that turned out to be very difficult. I found lots of guilt in this process. Just a bit of research shows how many kids in the world need homes. And at first I felt that I should reach out to those with the most need. But a case worker sat me down and explained how important it was to be very realistic (my job is pretty demanding and single parenting is not for the meek) and also that all the kids need homes - the most important thing is to do what feels right. I live in a pretty rural state and so there are limited in-state possibilities for adoption. Given our state's laws, my home study agencies suggested either private out-of-state adoption or international adoption. I have family who have adopted domestically and I knew it could be a real rollercoaster. Also, absolutely unknown timeframes and chances for giving your heart to a child that would not end up yours was troubling to me. So I chose international adoption. Then the big question becomes country. I was originally very drawn to China. There is not a huge interracial community here, but most of it is Asian. And, for many of reasons discussed above it seemed like a very good choice. But early on in my deliberations China set its limitations on single adoption. After contacting some recommended agencies, I found the wait could be very long (maybe 2 or 3 years - some agencies were not taking new singles). Ukraine and Russia were in flux and the programs and challenges in those countries seemed overwhelming. So, I chose Kazakhstan. I am almost through my paper chase and it has been a bit of a rollercoaster also. The requirements have changed, areas closed for audits, etc. I think this is very typical in many international adoptions. But I like what I read and hear about Kaz orphanages. The trip is very long and it sounds like it can be challenging. But I have travelled a bit internationally and am okay with an adventure. I think the main thing is to go where you heart is. And also be realistic. Every country seems in flux - especially with singles. If you choose Guatemala (my Mom's first choice - but it will be my child) be sure to keep up on single restrictions - I have been reading about potential new legislation that will prohibit it. And no matter how you go about adoption, get ready for frustration, exasperation and challenges. But the process itself makes you have to be sure. And I have now come to the conclusion that while my travels are not yet ended, I am on the right road. Good luck. Keep us informed. Hearing from everyone on these boards has helped keep me sane and going.