Is anyone happy with their decision???

Ahh!! I'm going to scream! First of all, my niece was adopted. I saw my sister and brother in law go through the heart-ache of not having a child for years. I have also seen a child get a fair chance at life, because of her birthmothers decision. She may not be our blood, or it may be unatural as you say. But we don't differeniate. She is our family!My decision has been based on what is best for my child, not society, not what "looks right", and not based on what is best for me. I've been through things in my life that make people shutter. Baggage.. been there done that. I would have more baggage if my child were slighted as to make me feel better. I am going through enough right now and am so sick of having to give a **** disclaimer to some people. God has led me to this decision and found my child the best family possible. It hurts, and will always hurt, I know. But it is the right thing to. And I only need to be around and talk to people who respect and support my decision. I am not looking for anybody to play devil's advocate at this point. That was helpful when I was trying to make my decision. Not now that I have made my my decision!!

Hi Whimmy,Just wanted to lend you some support. I haven't been in your shoes. It can be hard here sometimes to find people who you can relate to, no matter what side of the triad you're on. But don't give up, you'll eventually get some powerful feedback and get the support that you're yearning for. Hang in there. Want you to know that I'm thinking of you. Best Wishes to you.

I'm glad you have made your decision. :flower: I haven't had time to read this whole thread, but wanted to jump in as an adoptee who did not have contact with my birthfamily growing up. I had an amazing life and have no feelings of loss or pain. You are right, you have to do what's right for you. Even if it may not appear to be the popular viewpoint. Only you can make that decision. And I want to add that whenever you read message boards or internet sites about topics like this, keep in mind who the posters are and what brought them to this site. I promise you there are many happy and healthy adoptees out there that don't even know board like this exist! SO you may not hear too much about their experiences. Best wishes to you! :)

Hi - I just wanted to drop a quick note - that as my situation of fully deciding adoption or not for my unborn has yet to happen - I feel the same way you do. I've already told the agency that I want the names of the adoptive parents and there number in a sealed envelope and should I choose to contact them about my child it will be my choice - but to fully want my child to find me once they've turn 18 should they choose to. I am going to 'pick' out the parents, but I don't want to know where they live, what there names are, or any specifics. It would be too hard if I were to pass through that town or state and wonder , is that my child, is that my child......... I want a happy life for my child, and I know that they will know right away that they are adopted and loved so very much by me and the birthfather - and we also plan on writing letters and when I choose to send those - will be my choice. but when I do - boy will their mail man will have a heavy box of letters to carry! So my adoption I'm choosing (again should I choose adoption) is not a closed adoption but an open one - but an open one that will not have me 'involved' directly with the child's life. It may sound cruel to some - but like I said I feel the same way you do - I want my child to live as 'normally' as possible considering there circumstances. Isn't that why we choose adoption? I wish you all the best in life!! And I hope your child does seek you out!! prayers and best wishes!

I know this is a fairly old thread, but I wanted to answer the original question-YES. I am absolutely happy with my decision to place my baby for adoption. It has been hard and I have cried a lot, but my birthdaughter is very happy, has a wonderful family and our adoption situation has turned out better than I could have ever imagined. I wouldn't change anything about it.

You sure sound like you have it all together. I don't blame you. I felt the same way, I wanted PERMANENT parents for my daughter. To be frank I doubt I could have handled it when she was 18 even. I think you made the right decision. God bless you. It will be hard, it never gets easier. But MOST of the children adopted are with good homes with good parents, which is what we wanted , right?dmca

[font=Garamond]Are you kidding me? [/font][font=Garamond]What is so unatural about being a parent? And don't tell me THAT NOT HAVING THE SAME BLOODLINE AS MY SON, MAKES ME UNATURAL. The last I saw,... my blood is the same color as my sons, it flows the same way.WE ARE BOTH HUMAN BEINGS...that is our common ground.....Is it not? So, that in itself makes us of the same nature. My husband and I are not related gentically, so does this make our relationship unatural. Absolutly not! Loving one an other just for the sake of Love...is very Natural!! We are a family, a very Loving family and in my book....this is completley NATURAL![/font]

MyHeart - Good question...I am wondering the same thing....Felix....what's up with this comment? BTW, MyHeart - Love the pic of Jesus holding the baby!

I've meat my daughter, she's in college and doing very good. She had a wonderful life, with loving parents and another adopted brother. I think an open adoption would have drove me mad, so there wasn't one. My admiration for her parents will never die either, for they are two of the most caring people in the world. I never forgot my daughter, and I worried and wondered about her, until we met. Now I see she is healthy and happy. A great feeling for I now know I did the right thing by her. bprice215

I've always thought about that Hello and goodbye. I think you're right, some just aren't cut out to be parents. I believe that it's a myth about maternal feelings also. There are some women that just don't have them . Not to leave out the men, of course, some don't have paternal feelings.thanx for bringing that up.dmca

I gave my son up almost 23 years ago in a closed adoption. I did not choose his parents, have no idea where or how he is and only received 3 pics of him right after he was born. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but it was the right thing to do for him and me. You have made the most unselfish decision you could ever make and you chose the best life for your son. It is very hard at times to believe that and not have any doubts but it is true. I know in my heart that I did the right thing, but there are times when that bad old devil called doubt creeps in and starts shaking me up. When that happens I remind myself that I had no job, no where to live, an incomplete education and no where near enough maturity to raise him in the manner he deserved to be raised. No child asks to be born. By surrendering your baby for adoption you're giving him the best gift you can-your love and the love of two parents who can support him in every possible way. You did the right thing!

Whitney, If it helps, I made the decision to place my child up for adoption 24 yrs ago. Yes, it is the hardest thing that you will ever do. Giving a child up for adoption is not the same as giving away your child. At least to me anyway. You are doing what is BEST for the child, not yourself. As time goes on, things may or may not change for you.About wanting pics, that is. I needed that for me, I also needed to see my child, hold her and feed her before I left the hospital. It made it harder, but that is what I needed to do. Everyone is different. It is the baby that counts.

I'm considering adoption through the foster care system and I came here looking for answers if adoption is EVER in a child's best interest...after everything I was reading, I was beginning to wonder if an adopted child was ever happy and whole. I just feel compelled to comment on this post. Of all the posts I've read about this topic, this is perhaps the best one. The maturity and insight (even thought the typed of adoption that she had is different from what I'm considering) from this post was amazing. I appreciate this poster sharing this! Thank you!

I'm considering adoption through the foster care system and I came here looking for answers if adoption is EVER in a child's best interest...after everything I was reading, I was beginning to wonder if an adopted child was ever happy and whole. I just feel compelled to comment on this post. Of all the posts I've read about this topic, this is perhaps the best one. The maturity and insight (even thought the type of adoption that she had is very different from what I'm considering) from this post was amazing. I appreciate this poster sharing this! Thank you!

Mommy2, a lot depends on how the child is raised, how soon the child knows they are adopted. The sooner the better, keep no secrets from the child. Realize they may want to search, understand and show your love for the child, let the child know their birth mom made a decission in the childs best interest. It's all in how you love that child. bprice215