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I know that I have twins waiting for me. This is something that I have known for a very long time. My husband, on the other hand, does not share my feelings. We have two biological children and he says that that is all Heavenly Father gave us, therefore, that is all we were meant to have. I guess, I don't know, it is my fault that we are unable to have any more children and maybe I have this guilt. Well, no maybe about it, I have tremendous guilt. But I also know that I have two souls who are waiting for me to make this decision and I feel like their time is coming soon to arrive on Earth. Our two children are in complete agreement with me as they have prayed (they are 16 and 13) and know that these siblings are theirs and we need to hurry with this decision. Has anyone else had these feelings? How have you explained to your spouse that this is right, that this is what Heavenly Father intended? Thanks for all your replies.
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You must be my sister!! I have to adopted AA children and believe me, my husband was no where near ready to adopt on either one. I just told my husband how I felt and that he needed to pray about it to. They are in denial for a while but it seems when an adoption situation comes up they pray about it. I have had the same feeling that I had twins waiting for me too. I am actually on the hunt for them right now. We have turned down 3 bmoms becuase after praying together (never thought that would happen) we both felt they weren't our children. If you want my email to talk, I would love to chat with you! megbrench@gmail.com.Best wishes! Meg :)
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What do you mean it's "your fault".....Did you make a choice that made you unable to bear children? If you didn't make a choice, you cannot be held responsible. PERIOD.
Is your hubby against adoption? (it's not natural etc...) You cannot change another's mind, but you can educate yourself and prepare anyway without him and then when he's softened his heart towards other options, you'll be there to help him along the way quicker. Most men don't have the "propagate the species" drive (bio or not). HE also may simply be resistant to change as part of his personality (nothing to do with adoption).
Go to the temple together and spend as many hours praying there as it takes to find mutual ground. In my case, we agreed that we felt the answer was to investigate adoption further (not a simple yes/no) and get informed and then ask again. We did and the answer was "thats good, now wait" we did and one day WHAM!!!! I was shoved into a frenzy to get our application in. Turns out LDSFS policies regarding openness had changed dramatically from the time we gathered info, to the time we applied. I didn't even WANT openness....until months after applying...But the Lord knew what I'd need even if I didn't (at the time). Besides, the Lord doesn't answer our prayers until we do as much as we can OURSELVES first (think the Brother of Jared and the following scripture).
D&C 58:26 "For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he recieveth no reward."
The Lord isn't going to withold a blessing that is meant to be if you are trying to CTR. He will just find another way, or wait a little while. You won't miss out, relax and rethink your position. Perhaps you should pray on how to prepare the way for it to happen.
Keep us posted!!
I know how you feel. The only words of advice I can give is to allow your husband the time to find out for himself that this is the right thing, and what the Lord really wants. This was the same thing in our situation. I knew there was another child out there, waiting for us, and when I aproached my husband, he kind-of told me I was crazy, that we were good with our four children. I wasn't offended or hurt, but I did tell him, "Well, I'll continue praying for this. If it truly is right, then the feelings I have won't leave, and you'll get on board." I never asked him about it again, but I did continue to pray about it, and I never did lose the feeling that our child was out there. Then 18-months after first approaching my husband, he came to me and asked if I was still feeling like we should I adopt. I told him yes, and he said, "You're right, there is another child out there." I wish you all the luck. Please keep me posted if needs be.We're in the process of waiting for our travel notice to come so we can travel to China for our Son! Hoping to travel in June.