i really need some advice or help

First, calm down. You are both legal adults and while your parents may have emotional sway, they have no legal say in what you two do (unless your girlfriend is not a legal adult yet). Next, get a plan together. How are you going to live, make money, be independent and support your family? I find the better prepared you are when you deliver controversial news, the less room there is for controversy. So, look at your jobs, your finances, your living expenses. Investigate aid available through federal and state agencies designed to assist people just like you. Often, religious and community groups will help with 'setup' items such as clothing, furniture, etc. Develop as many contingency plans as you can think of - what if the baby gets sick? - Medicaid. What if you lose your job? Get another one, etc. There are agencies and professionals who can help you develop a budget and plan for your new arrival. Talk to them and let them help. Best of luck. Regina

A baby coming into your life is such a shock when you don't expect it! Your baby has two parents to love him/her - the rest is just details. My daughter had an unplanned pregnancy last year and was terrified to tell her dad (my husband). Well, we did it. I can't tell you how upset he was. Fast-forward a year later - he is the most pathetically doting G'Pa ever. In the beginning we felt like we were dragging him along with the plan for the baby, but he soon caught up and took charge. He will be okay. Tell him how much you love his daughter and your unborn child. He just wants to know that you respect his daughter and that you will do your best for her and your child. Good luck, Happy G'Ma

[font=Comic Sans MS]Ya know, nothing gets a grandparent running faster than knowing they have a new grand baby at the finish line![/font][font=Comic Sans MS]I have seen the hardest of grandpa's outrun the rest of the family to the hospital to be the first one to hold his grand baby![/font][font=Comic Sans MS]He might not accept in the beginning but if he is worth his salt, he'll come around..RELAX and enjoy the pregnancy![/font][font=Comic Sans MS][/font] [font=Comic Sans MS]Sue& Keith[/font]

Hi dimmu,Wow, I am very happy for your girlfriend that she has such a supportive boyfriend. Congratulations on your soon to be fatherhood! I agree with what everyone else has said, he may sway, he may not. But you and your girlfriend do have the final say. Sure, they might throw her out of the house, but I have seen many people make it work when they really wanted to. You both could get an apartment together and might have to work a little extra, there may be help available closer than you think (maybe a friend or relative would be willing to babysit if you're both working overlapping shifts). I think it's good that you are concerned for her dad's reaction. It shows that you have respect for him. And for her. And I think that's really great. Don't let him tell you guys what to do, though. Continue to make your own decisions, with or without his support. I will bet, that after the initial shock wears off, he'll be an awesome grandfather. My dad is very strict. To a fault, believe me. And he is also very Catholic. He had four kids (girl, boy, girl, boy.) I'm the second to last girl. (stay with me, I promise I'm going somewhere with this). My sister is the oldest.. and she was raised the strictest and was the best "behaved" as a result. She didn't marry until she was 28.. in a time when people hadn't started to wait until their 30s or 40s to get married yet. Then there was my brother who pushed the envelope. He ended up kicked out when he was 17. He had been dating his wife back then, they moved in together (she was even younger!) and lived in a small apartment in a not so great neighborhood. I remember visiting the first time and he had an air mattress on his bedroom floor, milk crates for chairs. That was it. Then there was me, I left willingly not long after my brother was kicked out.. I was 15. I was fortunate enough to have a friend in town who's family were saintly and they took me in until I put myself in college. (I was also a well "behaved" child, by the way) And my younger brother, he was the worst out of all of us. Getting arrested all the time, trying to kill himself at times, it was BAD. That was the biggest reason I left when I did, it got to be too much for me and I knew it wasn't a healthy environment. Anyway, years ago, when I was engaged to DH, before he was sterile...Each of us got pregnant! My sister had been married a couple years. My older brother was engaged, I was engaged, my younger brother was recently dropped out of high school. This is how it went down: Older brother announces it first... (they bumped up their wedding date, but she was more than a little showing so there was no hiding it even at their wedding), then my younger brother announced it. I find out I'm pg and hesitate to say anything because it's one thing if my brothers screwed up, but here I am, "daddy's little girl" and I got myself caught! So my mom calls me one day, not long after I find out, and she tells me how my sister said something to the effect, "well, all I need to hear now is that Julie is pregnant." (My sister was ready for kids way before her husband, which explains her dismay). So, I said, "well, mom, funny thing... I am." She thought I was joking, I told her I wasn't. She HUNG UP ON ME! I can laugh about it now. I am laughing even remembering this. Then my sister finally found out she was pg, too... (By the way, two of us--me and my little brother's gf--got pregnant using condoms... my older brother's fiance was on the pill. My sister was the only one "trying!") So. I told mom. Now, I had to tell Dad. UGH! Well. I went home to visit on a weekend not long after. And had a large bag with me. I had it on my back, you know, one of those army bags. I got off the train and dad came right over and took it and asked me how I was feeling! I was so scared.. and RELIEVED that A) mom told him for me and B) he didn't kill me. I could see the disappointment in his eyes, and I won't forget that, but he was very gentle with me. Ironically, my parents were going to go from 0 grandchildren to 4 in a few month span. Two of us miscarried. So my sister and my older brother had their kids. It did all work out, looking back on it. I am telling you all this, because no matter what we think we know about our parents or our situations, we really don't know how our parents will react until we give them a chance. And even if it's not so stellar of a reaction initially, try not to get too down about it. I know how hard it is, we all desire to have our parents unconditional love and support. But, sometimes, their dreams for us and our dreams don't match, and even if they do, sometimes other things just come up, like an unexpected pregnancy. You are a very kind person to care so much about your gf's dad. And it shows that you love her because you are so concerned for her. Keep on being concerned for her and do everything you can to help her and your baby. I am so happy that you have your mind made up. That will help you and your gf I think. Hang in there. It may get tough for a little while, but you CAN do this. It WILL be okay. I know it will be hard, working a lot and being a dad.. but if you know this is what you want, and what your gf wants, than this is what you have to work hard for. My very best wishes. I hope her dad ends up being a pushover. Even if he's disappointed at first, wait till he sees his grandchild for the first time. No grandparent can stay angry.

Just wanted to say what a stand up guy you are for sticking by your girlfriend, and new baby! Sounds like you have the support of most of your family I wouldn't worry too much about grandpa, he'll surly come around once that sweet bundle of joy arrives. As for the finances, my mother always told me if you wait until you can afford something you'll never get it! So, jump in head first and love that baby!