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I would like my sister to be my sons Godmother once he is legally adopted. She was raised Catholic and received all the sacrements..but she is divorced and did NOT get a dispensation from the church.
Can she be his Godmother? Will they ASK if she is married or divorced?
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Divorce is not a sin. It does not separate her from the church in the least. It is a shame that the mass media keeps propagating this lie (that the Catholic Church says it is sinful to be divorced) so much that even Catholics are starting to believe it now. So could your divorced sister be a godmother to your son? What they will want to know: 1. Is she actively dating or remarried (to someone other than her previous spouse)? If so, then she is not in good standing with the church. She *could* start annulment proceedings now and if her first marriage has a finding of nullity, then she will be free to date or remarry. If her first marriage was done outside of the church without a dispensation, and she is now in the US, then her priest has the power to grant the annulment then and there. (Dispensation is given in advance allowing you to dispense with a rule. Annulment is a finding that a valid marriage was never contracted and can only be found after the fact.) 2. Is she still actively attending church? Will she be able to be a strong spiritual guide to these children in their lives? If she isn't going to church now and addressing her own spiritual needs, then the answer is no. So, it is quite possible that your divorced sister can be a valid choice for your son's godmother, but it depends on her individual choices in the rest of her life if she is.
Fr. Vincent Serpa
The Church allows separation and it also allows divorce for practical reasons, such as the equitable dividing of goods that have been held in common by the separated persons. But it does not accept that divorce can dissolve the marriage as other churches do. Catholics who are validly married remain so even after a divorce.
Code of Canon Law
Canon 1153.1 A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave...Canon 1154 When a separation of spouses has taken place, provision is always, and in good time, to be made for the due maintenance and upbringing of the children.
Michelle Arnold (Catholic Apologist)
Yes, so long as the divorced person is living the life of chastity expected of a married person who is legally separated from his or her spouse. The Church views civil divorce as a legal separation. So long as the divorced person does not engage in relationships inappropriate to those expected of a married person and is otherwise in a state of grace, that person can fully participate in the sacramental life of the Church.
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Luann, I would suggest that you contact your parish and inquire as to the requirements for being a God Parent. With one of my boys it was not an issue that his God Parents had each been married and divorced in the past and had married each other, but not in the Catholic church. With one of my sisters her parish had much more strict requirements for being a God Parent and she had to tell her first choice that she would not be able to be the child's Godmother, based on her being married outside of the Catholic Church. Just to be safe and avoid a possibly uncomfortable situation I would check with the parish.
Every parish and priest is different. The church that I had my six year old baptized in said at least one God Parent had to be Catholic with the sacraments. The church I belong now says that both Godparents must be Catholic, with sacraments, and a letter from their parish that they are practicing Catholics that attend churh at least 75% of the time. The Church that my sister is having her soon to be born son baptized at does not require that either Godparents be catholic, but the suggest it. All of the churches are in the same diocese
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