So Many Questions!!

If you plan to finalize in bparents' home state, you will need at least one attorney to represent your interests and do the filings etc. Some states also require bparents to have their own attorney(s) which you will most likely have to pay for as well. If you plan to finalize in your own state, you'll probably need two attorneys to represent you (one to file paperwork in bmom's home state and one for finalization in your state). Again, depending on the states, you may also need to pay for a separate attorney for bparents. In our adoption, we hired an attorney in bmom's home state to represent us. Bmom had a family friend (an attorney) that she contacted for advice, and since we finalized in her state, we did not need to obtain an attorney in our own home state. Hope this helps.

Thanks for getting back to me!! Hope you don't mind a little more interrogation, but how long did you take to finalize? Did you have to fly back to bmom's state after taking baby home? We're anticipating interstate compact issues since we're adopting through facilitator and want to know if we need attorneys on sending and recieving ends. Thanks again for your info!!

Because we had some issues with our first attorney (fired him and got a new one) our finalization took 10 months. I was told though that it should only have taken 3-4 months. I had the same sorts of questions that you do but determined that finalizaing in bmom's home state was the easiest thing to do. Some states allow you to be there by phone to finalize. In dd's home state we were required to fly back. However, our expenses for making that trip were still lower than hiring an attorney in our home state to coordinate a finalization. We just used airline miles!

Since you adopted out of state, was the interstate compact a big hassle? We keep getting told that we will need an attorney here in AK and one in bmoms state to coordinate with each other, but I can't figure out why the one in bmoms state isnt enough. We have military lawyers that can finalize in AK when the time frame is up so we don't need private attorney to finalize, so if the only reason we need attorney in AK is too file paperwork with interstate commission, isnt this something we can do with the attorney is bmoms state? Did any of that make any sense??!! I know I'm probably being repetitive but fees are starting to escalate and we are trying to find the best way to do things! Really appreciate your answers!!

Steph - we had access to military attorneys in our home state as well, but they often aren't experienced with this type of law/practice because they end up working in so many different states. I mostly just use their notary services. =) They're really good with routine things but adoption laws are so state-specific, I wanted someone who had done several adoptions. To simplify things, my preference was to work with one state's laws and one state only. Fewer opportunities for screw-ups IMHO. Yes, like you, lots of people (agencies/facilitators) told me how we'd need two attorney's (one in each state). But I've done two years of law school. My mom and uncle are liscensed to practice too - and I read the adoption statutes. You don't NEED two. Adoption is so statute-driven that in a lot of states the EXACT wording of the forms bmom signs are written into the law. In other states (CA comes to mind) the relinquishment/placement forms are downloadable PDFs! It's true that some people like to have an attorney in each state for extra protection, support, handholding etc. It might also be a necessity if the adoption is contested or if you are planning to finalize in your home state but otherwise, I just didn't think it was necessary. So what if dd has an amended BC from her home state instead of ours? I didn't care about that. Keep in mind that depending on the states involved you still might have to pay for a bparent attorney but that's separate for the purposes of this discussion. Also, the ICPC is really not that big a deal as far as paperwork goes. It's mostly procedural, not substantive. It's all about getting the right papers shuffled and date stamped by the right people. Anyone with half a noodle can go online, view the ICPC rules/guidelines and forms and see exactly what's required. I figured if I could figure it out, any half-decent attorney could too. Legal professionals have a vested interest in making us all feel dependent and disempowered where the law is concerned so they can continue to have jobs but it's not rocket science. I'd encourage you to read some of the statutes online for yourself and see how comfortable you feel with how the process is supposed to work. Fact is, the attorney(s) in bmom's home state generates most of the heavy-lifting paperwork anyway (bparent consents, grant of temporary custody etc.) and secures approval from ICPC for you to go home; the rest of the ICPC work is really minimal - it's basically just filing the PP report, petitioning for finalization, attending the hearing and notifying ICPC of finalization. FWIW - when we flew to bmom's home state we didn't even have an attorney yet (match was Friday, flight was Sat, baby born on Tuesday). We retained one after we got there having done a little research online. If I'd known then what I know now I'd have come straight here for a referral!! The one we found was competent, just SLLLOOOOWWW and lazy about filings and comunication. Anyway - I brought with us one original and two copies of these things...1) contract with facilitator and 2) homestudy report (because I'd gone online to see what ICPC required). Make sure yours is as thorough as it can possibly be to meet the requirements in all states. Our SW had done HS reports for people working with national agencies and had a really good blueprint for all the possible pieces of information we'd need to include to be safe. Our final homestudy contained a notorized copy of our SW's license as well as the background check reports etc. The attorney also asked us to provide an itemized list of any bmom expenses we paid but there were none for us so this was a non-issue. It's all about what you feel comfortable with.

Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!!! You just put my mind at ease about the issue! I was really starting to worry so I appreciate your help so much!! Now its on to bigger and definitely more exciting things!! I'll let you know how its going!! Our facilitator tells us a few weeks because we are so open-so now I can "relax" (yeah right) and wait for the CALL!!!