WOW!! What behaviours is he exhibiting that made you jump all the way to psychopath within the first week? That's a pretty serious word to start brandying about for a 14 year old.
After having to sit in on two very intense counseling sessions with him, both within the same week and hearing all the stuff he's been subjected to....and the therapist who had been with him the entire week of his being in a theraputic facility did not flinch when I asked him about "psychopath"....
Personally, I think there is hope for the boy. He has already made improvement in the short time we've had him. He was in a place where the workers did nothing but let the kids run wild and he has not been taught any "home training" type things.
As a matter of fact, this morning, I did NOT say a word to him about the food and while he was eating his breakfast we had an opportunity to talk about his table manners, not having to steal food, he will always have enough to eat while he is here, etc.....all this without me having to bring it up.
At the facility where he was, he had to hover over his food to keep the other kids from stealing it, he had to wolf down his food out of fear of somebody else stealing it and he was never given enough to eat...(his words, not mine)
After our conversation of this morning, I have a better idea of where he is coming from and what type of things would push my buttons and things I would not be able to tolerate.
He understands that he has no need to steal food, all he has to do is to ask and it will be provided.
I did have an alarm on his door until my bio son (17 year old) asked me to remove it due to HIS feeling it was offensive toward his foster brother.
When we did our parenting classes, they asked us to fill out a checklist of behaviors we would and would not tolerate.....this boy exhibits most of the behaviors we would not tolerate but there was NO WAY to know that on the spur of the moment when asked to take him for a short term placement.....he is being adopted by a more tolerant woman than I am.
I thank you all for your insight and especially to those of you who did not critize me but gave me the support I needed when I posted here in the first place.