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Hi there! We are just starting discovery into the adoption process. Very exciting, but lots of choices. Anyone else from AZ here? I'm in Phoenix.
Stephie
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Hi,
we live in Scottsdale, although we adopted our youngest son 7 years ago in the Nashville area. I was looking for an adoption support group of some kind. We have wonderful beautiful adopted son as well as 2 biological children, ages 18 and 20. They are away at school so the youngest is like an only child! We have an open adoption and keep in touch regularly with our birthmother. You can email me at miasfolkart@cox.net.
Luke AFB (Glendale). We have our triplets, who are four months old, and have had them since birth. Also have a three year old bio son. We are just waiting for a court date.
The nice thing about Arizona is that once the bp's sign the papers there's no going back, unlike some states that have three month, six month, or more waiting periods. Also, the Maricopa COunty Attorney handles all consenting adoptions free of charge. I'm sure theb other counties do too. Arizona does require that the birth mother be offered adoption counseling, and that the adoptive parents pay for it if she wants it. Also, the severance piece for bf's is fairly painless. It seems like a good state to adopt in. We've only been here a year, and I think it would have been harder in Florida.
Unfortunately, the process of adoption causes pain and tension for both the birthparents and the adoptive parents. Clearly, if a couple is successful in adopting, the birthparents have the greatest portion of that pain. That doesn't mean, however, that for those of us who adopt the journey from deciding we want a child to having one is without heartache.
I do not apologize for the fact that as an adoptive parent I would rather not have the gut-wrenching, fingernail biting period of time where I have a child, but cannot be sure I will get to keep him. Where the child might be in my custody, but is not "mine." Where the fate of my family lies entirely in another person's hands, and I am afraid to bond with or love him too much.
I have no wish to take "someone's baby" away from her, but after a process that has lasted years, years during which my family has experienced soul bruising loss as well, it is "nice" for there to be, finally, an end in sight and security in the knowledge that I have a child at last. I hope that those who lovingly and courageously place their children for adoption have come to thier decision freely, without coercion. I, thankfully, have never made the choice myself, but I have watched two of my sisters wrestle with it up close. One of them placed her daughter with a loving family four years ago, and now receives pictures and letters on the little girls's birthday. the other is the birthmother of my triplets.
She did not sign the papers within 72 hours of the birth; she waited until she was sure the bf was completely out of the picture, which turned out to be about a month after the children were born and had liveed with dh and I. During these weeks, I felt sure about her sticking to her decision, as I know my sister, but dh, who has been more heartbroken than I over the years, was less sure, and it was a very tense time for him.
number1: "not having a chance to reconsider such a huge life altering decision is not -- as you put it -- a nice thing."
I would hate for someone to sign the papers without considering, reconsidering, and considering again. Nothing says a woman must sign the papers after 72 hours. She can hold the baby, nurse her if she wants, delay signing to think somemore, change her mind and not go through with it, but, finally, if she has made the decision, and freely signed the papers, it is a relief for the adopting family to know that the baby won't be taken back.
As far as there being more important things than a "fairly cheap" adoption-- if it were not "fairly cheap" we could not afford it. I didn't go out looking for the "most affordable" babies, but I find it wonderful that the state will handle consenting adoptions (not wrenching away someone's baby against her will) at no cost. It makes far more families possible than otherwise would be.
I am sorry if you feel unfairly treated by the state of Az. I am sure your experience is/was difficult enough without feeling ganged up on by a state's laws and policies. Sadly, there is no way to make adoption pain-free for those involved.
Live in the west side of Phoenix around the the Tolleson/Avondale area. But I work in Mesa. So I see most too much of I-10 and 202 everyday. Kidding.
Have been licensed to foster since Beginning of March 2007 and waiting for my Adoption certificat to come through. Since then I have been called for about 10 different children but none have actually made it to my home. Even though I am very disappointed if the child is with family that will love them and keep them safe. As well as nuture them so they are secure, loved and safe I am ok with that. My neice lost her children years ago so I know if it is a safe, nurturing and loving place the kids are better off. But if the family that takes the kids in don't keep them safe they are worse off. That is what happened to my neices children her mother took them in and she didnt' keep them safe from their grandfather. (should say this is a neice from my sisters ex husband. They haven't been married for 25 years but you don't divorce children)
Off my soapbox sorry about that. I am stil waiting on my first placemnt. Been called many times but still hdon't have any children in my home. I went out and bought several car seats, cribs, beds, all kinds of baby and kids stuff. Broke and no children.
they are amending my license to 3 instead of 2 (maybe) 1 adoption and 2 foster care. I told them I wanted to do both and I definetly wanted to do what ever I could to keep the families together. I come from a very large family and know the importance of that.
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I live in Chandler, AZ and looking to adopt a daughter domestically, have two beautiful bio sons already. Anyone have information on good domestic agencies or agencies in AZ?
Deanna
You can e-mail me at d-scott1@cox.net
Thanks~