I wish I didn't know...

April 6, 2006

I am no doubt glad that I missed what I believe to be the first negative comment about us CC's adopting beautiful AA DD! I really wish I just didn't know though.

The speaker of negative comment is DH's recently deceased brother, who I always defended as a pretty nice guy, as far as I knew him. Apparently he had an "stupid, rude" reaction to DH telling him we were adopting an AA baby :mad: :( :mad: :(

I guess I have to let it go, I cant' very well set him straight now...

I am however finishing up a show for his memorial service this sunday, and working with his face just pi**es me off! I'll still do it, and do it well, but hearts not in it, KWIM?

I always wondered what my reaction would be to someting like this, cringe and shrink back, get MAD, what? Yeah I'm mad, hurt, but the biggest feeling is a strengthening I have of love for DD, reaffirm to myself that this is definitly the baby we were meant to have, yet sadness at the realities of the world. DH and I both agreed that we wouldn't have done things any differently and that (we believe, and we might be biased) she is the most perfect baby!!!!

so I'm just venting here, where you most likely understand, I don't think trying to explain to others how I feel about it, and dragging his sorry self through the mud would benefit anyone.

thanks,

max

Oh yeah, DH told me this because i just wasn't getting what this brother did/said to cause DH not to talk to him. DH is understandably upset that bro died (unexpectedly) and this dumb comment was the last interaction they had.... :(

alpacamommy

April 7, 2006

I am sorry you learned of such a harsh thing, especially from someone who is family. I am also sorry to hear that is how your DH's relationship ended with his brother. It does make you stop and think about the things we say to someone and how it may be the last.

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redbonec

April 8, 2006

Isn't it awful when you can think back of how you defended someone who you thought was a decent person, then they do something terrible to you? Makes you want to go back and take back your defense.

Sorry this has hit you and your husband now, and sorry this hurtful comment was ever made!

AwaitingBeloved

April 8, 2006

This is very sad. I bet that DH's brother is realizing now, that you are meant to parent your DD. And that DH is a great daddy to her, too. I am so sorry for the comments, and especially sorry that this is the last interaction DH had with his brother. Sometimes the ones closest to us hurt us the most. And sometimes, like now, there's nothing we can do about it. I'm so sorry. I hope you find peace, and I hope DH gets some sort of sign that his brother is sorry for hurting him, to give him peace. (And to give you peace, too).