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I dont know what to do and i am devestated! I gave my daughter up for adoption (open adoption) in 1989. I chose her parents and we had contact twice a year for 13 years. They sent letters and pics. I sent my birth daughter gifts for her b-day and x-mas. I havent heard from them in 3 years. I found out that they were getting a divorce. I have contacted the agency over and over and they informed me that these gifts and letter's havent returned to the agency............so they must be getting them. Well 1 1/2 yrs ago i moved across the US. I again contaced the agency and they tried to call the family. The # had been disconnected and they had no "new" information on the family! They must of moved and not given their new address! I am soooo hurt, frusterated, depressed, angry etc. I dont know how to handle this! She will be 17 in July and i dont know if i should try to find them or not??? I do know where they used to live, and i am assuming they are still in the same area! Would it be wrong of me to contact them on my own? They were the most awesome, normal, loving family i had ever met. I know this divorce was devestating for them all.............BUT.....i have to know what is going on.......not to mention that my birth daughter is old enough to KIT. We had contact for 13yrs.........the letter's always seemed "too good to be true" if you know what i mean.................course i didnt expect them to let me know anything negative. Can someone give me some advise? I dont know what to do..........if anything????????
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She will be 17 in July and i dont know if i should try to find them or not??? I do know where they used to live, and i am assuming they are still in the same area! Would it be wrong of me to contact them on my own?
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[FONT=Verdana]I respectfully disagree. I think, from the sound of it, the lack of new contact information is not a "boundary" being set in place by the adoptive family, but a detail that most likely slipped through the cracks during a stressful stretch of time in this family's life. Also, because there was a divorce, the adoptive parents may actually feel guilty. I’ve been told by divorced adoptive parents they felt they had failed their child’s birthmother by not being able to give them the stable home environment they hoped. This may not be the case, but if it is, it could help to explain why contact has not resumed after the divorce. I would prayerfully consider contacting the child's family on your own if it does not violate any agreements you have with the adoption agency or the adoptive family. Forums are great for advice, but if you do decide to contact the child’s family, I would encourage you to seek the guidance of an unpartisan, experienced adoption counselor before going forward. [/FONT]