Advice on explaining finalization to 6 year old??

I would just tell her that her adoption will be final. That you will be her legal mom now. And she'll have a different last name. Is she has questions answer them. She might have more questions later. Also I would do a small celebration when her adoption is finalized.

She doesn't know about adoption yet, because I didn't know to bring it up when this started last year (adoption proceedings). I'm the only mom she knows and we are a family, she doesn't understand legally versus just family. I think that is my issue. She has also used our last name all along, so again that takes that away. I didn't realize how all of this would pan out or how to handle any of it initially. Still learning obviously lol. Thanks for the advice

When you adopt her I would just tell her she's adopted. Better now than later. Does she even see her mom, since she's a relative? Or is her adoption totally closed? I might bring it up at adoption time. I prefer open adoptions if that possible. She should have been told about her first mom a long time ago. If she see's family members, they might let it slip.

It's an odd situation. She sees my sister as she is my sister and we see each other at family functions, but she knows her as her aunt. She does know she grew in aunt S's belly though. My sis has been in and out of trouble and has had four more kids since then. We didn't start out intending to hide anything, we just didn't know and then until we knew for sure she was going to be adopted, I didn't think it was right to tell her about afoption and I didn't know how at that point. It was all so confusing and even is now. Our immediate family is very close and knows but I'll be honest I don't know that our extended family even knows because we weren't around many of them for awhile. My sister told her friends etc she had BC for me cause I couldn't have any more kids. Not the truth but it's what she told people to explain where BC was. That is also what she told my other niece a year older than my little one. She told my little one she grew in her moms belly but I was her mom. The kids seem totally ok with that. But like I said BC just looks at it as she grew in her aunts belly instead cause mine was broken. She doesn't realize the depth of it or that it means I have to adopt her etc. does that make sense? So she knows kinda but doesn't know the real truth about being taken away and being injured etc. she knows her aunt makes bad choices as she is in jail now and I had to explain adults make bad choices just like kids and when they do they go to jail sometimes, but she is trying to learn. My sister has no desire to parent or co parent or be a bio mom. She looks at BC as my daughter and she is her aunt. Honestly with all she has going on she couldn't handle any more. She will have a hard enough time staying out of trouble and not getting stressed and all when she gets out with 4 little ones under the age of five.

If you have just had a wedding you can build on the legal aspect of the relationship. I would explain to her that just as you and Daddy had a loving relationship and were a family, now you have a legal relationship. She is your daughter and you are her Mom in your hearts and now you need to make it legal. The legal paperwork is called adoption she will have a paper too saying you have a loving and a legal relationship. It is a good opportunity while she is still young to start normalizing the conversation and not to hide anything. Give her enough information to have questions and then answer her questions honestly and age appropriately. It will give the groundwork for questions and answers as she grows. There will probably be periods of time that she focuses on it and then long periods where it just means nothing. Let her be the guide. SM

She was injured and she might get her other kids back. I hope there a RU plan in place. So you told her she grew in her aunts tummy, so she knows you didn't give birth to her. She's young and that's a good way to tell her. But as she gets older she might tell people this and they might ask if she was adopted. So she may ask the question, at some point. Maybe later when you think she's ready you can tell her the whole truth.

Injuries were as an infant 5 years ago, and while I know it sounds awful and is extremely upsetting to me, I don't believe she was hurt on purpose. She has fractures in her leg, but I know my other niece who was about 1 1/2 years old kept trying to climb in the swing on her and in her crib. Either way it was my sisters job as her mom to make sure those things don't happen, I realize that and I know that she probably wasn't taken care of as she should be because my sister drank heavily. I just wanted to point out that she wasn't abusive in the physical sense. Her and her bf were violent with each other when they drank but not the kids, but they were neglected back then I think. My sister has grown up a lot since then, she was barley old enough to drink then, it she still makes bad choices, just not as bad as back then. Neither her nor the bf are bad people, they just make bad choices, but I believe she really does try. She works her butt off and loves her kids, but gets stressed out easily and does dumb things. Not among excuses. Y any means, I don't understand her or her choices as I can't imagine making them. My daughter always came first, and it has taken time for my sister to realize her kids are her first priority. She was separated a long time this time and I think (hope) it devastated her. I hope she learned something this time. I think she now knows she cannot drink, period. She was in jail for about 6 months for DUI, and has spent the past 4 in a rehab. Her husband has the other kids and has done very well surprisingly. Got involved in church and no longer associates with the same people. This is a different person than my little ones birth father, but is father to the last 4. The birth father has been in and out of jail and isn't in the picture, hasn't seen her since she was taken at 3 months. Sorry I was just trying to stick to basics mostly so no one had to read all of it lol. We did talk to her tonight and tried to tell her about court next week. We said since she grew in her aunts tummy we were going to adopt her so we would all be family forever and she would have the same last name forever. I said do you want to be family forever and she said we are family silly, I'm keeping you forever. ( she has some of the sweetest moments...) and then she moved on....I told her she would wear her new dress and could take her doll since she was family to. She said...you know she is just a doll right? Lol. So that was the end of that. I will try and bring it up casually again this week. Thanks so much for helping me out with this. Wish there were manuals for these types of situations.... I can tell you with my daughter about to graduate high school I had no idea I would be starting a family all over again, but now 6 years later, I can't imagine my life without my baby girl in it.